While life has been very busy as of late for your resident old fart and insulter of morons, one bit of gaming news that kept my attention recently was the Evo fighting game tournament in Las Vegas. Thanks to Nukezilla staffer, and all round sexy beast, Justin, we were all able to vicariously enjoy some highlights from what was by all accounts a great tournament and a really well run event. In the main event final Daigo “The Beast” Umehara repeated as Champion in the Street Fighter IV tournament.

A news story that broke later in the week following the tournament also caught my eye. In the piece on Kotaku “What is Daigo’s Day Job?” we discover that life away from game tournaments involves a lot of menial, unskilled work for one of the best videogamers in the world. It got me thinking. I know that my tone is going to come across as elitist, but this feature is usually about the impressions an older gamer gets from following the gaming community and I couldn’t shake the notion that this very talented young man is essentially wasting his life. Is he one of the best in the world at what he does? Clearly, but who cares? If Daigo spent maybe a fraction of his gametime on university or a trade, then he might be able to accomplish more in life than simply wiping old people’s bums for a living.

Try to remember here that I’m not writing as a gamer, I’m writing as a parent. When I sat down and really considered the significance of the piece on Kotaku I really started to wonder about the effect that competitive online gaming has on a segment of the market. If I’m being a dick, frankly part of me is glad that being phenomenal at videogames requires so much work and talent. It will keep me comfortably in reasonably priced house-cleaners, fast food attendants, and personal support workers, should I ever succumb to Alzheimers. I do acknowledge how much of a nasty ageing troll I’m being here, but I defy anyone out there of parenting age to disagree with me about whether they want their children to be great at games at the cost of being great at life.

Is Daigo happy? I don’t know, I’ve never met him. I assume that he is a very happy young man, who is content to do something that he absolutely loves while nobly working in a nursing home for the aged. You might then ask who am I to judge him? The world is filled with aspiring actors, football players, and *ahem* writers, who are likely never going to become successful or rich from their endeavours. Where do I get off questioning the way in which complete strangers spend their time or how they choose to live their lives?

As I said above I’m a parent, and if we are being completely honest I want my children to accomplish more with their lives than sacrificing personal success for the mere acknowledgement of other videogamers. This would be different if becoming the best at your given game or genre meant that you could hang out with Lebron James, or Ronaldo. It doesn’t. The corporate support for professional gaming is not sufficient to adequately reward the elite. Wiping asses and mopping floors can be as rewarding as anything else, especially when they involve assisting the aged and the infirm. However, I want my children doing more with their lives than that. If they have the potential to be the best at a videogame, then they clearly have the skill-set to be great other more lucrative endeavours. Videogames need to be kept in perspective and I think that is getting lost in the discussions about videogame culture in the name of marketing.

Like many others around here I’ve seen the pieces on X-Play that MLG superstar T-Squared does and it seems like he is doing all right financially. However, some less gracious scribes out there might imply that MLG has less to do with elite competitive gaming, and more to do with promoting Microsoft products. Maybe Capcom might want to help Daigo Umehara out a bit? Maybe? Don’t get me wrong I am not anti marketing or games publishers. I do not hate Activision of EA for trying to make more and more money. Money makes this industry flow, period. On the flip-side though, I can get frustrated with publishers for manipulating the stupid into not keeping them accountable, but I certainly don’t begrudge anyone making money.

There are obviously a lot of maybes in this discussion. Maybe Daigo is saving his money from tournaments and professional gaming as a launch pad to bigger and better things? Maybe I’m literally getting too old to be relevant in any discussion about videogames, careers and culture? But maybe, just maybe, when it comes right down to it in the discussions about whether games can be art, whether competitive e-sports can be successful on a mass market scale, or whether gaming journalists are in fact journalists, we have lost track of the fact that videogames are simply leisure and recreational pursuits? That there is a reality to being successful at videogames and that reality is that it involves incredible personal sacrifice with little potential for personal gain. Simply put, the personal economics of professional gaming rarely translates to success, rather it translates to lives wasted in pursuit of meaningless accolades.

In the end, I hope that I can play videogames with my children for decades to come. When I look at what I hope for them, it doesn’t involve specific professions or definitive financial success, it does involve the power to choose one’s own way. Hopefully I can convey to them the perspective that is necessary to really enjoy videogames for what they are.

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There are often intangibles with videogames that frequently get overlooked in reviews, Crisis in The Gulf from Super Boise Games has a few worth mentioning. Aside from solid tower defense play, this amusing game is getting extra points from me for cleverness, and just plain topical awesomeness for tackling the issue of oil spills and their horrific effect on the environment. After playing this game for a while it really feels like tower defense and The Daily Show had a baby and it became this.

The game opens with a very logical proviso considering the current climate around oil spills; “All logos or corporations appearing in this game are fictitious; any resemblance to real corporations is purely coincidental.” This is followed by a familiar looking logo featuring an oil company named “dp.” The premise is fairly simple, a large “OOOPS!” emblazoned across the screen lets the player know that somebody did something very wrong on an oil platform. To help stem the flow of the escaping oil, the player may use three different classes of ships to prevent oil from rising to the surface. The three available classes are cannons, torpedos, and lasers.

The gameplay itself is fairly simplistic tower defense fare. However, the overall experience is so cleverly done that it is definitely deserving of some attention and your spare micro points. The screen is broken up into thirds and the area where the player can place ships takes up the middle third. Each new level begins with the controller vibrating strongly indicating imminent eruptions of oil and possibly doom for the animals of the area.

I encourage players to start on the easiest difficulty; not because this game is particularly difficult or the play system is challenging to master. After the first several levels on “Lawn Mower Oil Leak” you can rest on some upgraded laser and torpedo ships and read the news ticker from “DNN” that runs across the top of the game. The little snippets of fake news are very funny, and really added to the charm of this game. Furthermore, if the player promotes the game to anyone his or her friend’s list then you are granted extra cash to start the game with. A simple, but pretty good idea in my opinion.

The essentials of the gameplay are very solid for Crisis in The Gulf. Ships go where you place them, they upgrade when you choose to, and they look and sound like one would expect. This is generally an extremely well done game by an independent developer that isn’t afraid to throw a few barbs at oil companies as well as media outlets that purport to cover these disasters professionally. My favourite “DNN” ticker fake-story involves mocking the inane polls that news outlets inevitably launch to seem like they are seeking their viewer’s opinions. In this case it goes; “Do you think that the oil leak is good for the environment?” This is the kind of cleverness that really lured me in with this game. News site polls are always nonsensical and frequently are so inane that they would insult the intelligence of an amoeba. Hardcore tower defense fans should note though, that there are no unlockable ships in this game. The three ship types you strt with are what you have throughout.

The parts of the game that annoyed me revolve around the repetitive music, the inability to turn off the vibrate function that indicates a new level is about to start, and the absence of visible animals that died because the player failed. While I found the background music catchy and the lyrics reasonably well done for an indie game, after several playthroughs it just becomes grating. Also, with the vibration that signals the beginning of a new level it made me want to throw the controller through a window when I forgot about it and placed it on the table beside my chair. The noise woke the baby upstairs it was so powerful. Finally, when your ships are eventually overwhelmed by the oil spill and you fail, you are greeted with the message; “you have failed now all of the animals are dead because of you.” I love this! However, I wanted to see animals covered in oil suffocating to death. It’s a niggling point I know, and maybe Super Boise Games avoided that imagery for legal reasons as that would too closely connect this game with a certain actual oil spill that is irreparably damaging the Gulf and is seemingly being ignored by those that caused this catastrophe. At any rate, the bottom line though is that the purpose of the game is to save the animals from the oil spill so let me see what happens when WE fail to protect our environment. C’mon boys at least give me one seagull heaving it’s last breath covered in oil sludge.

This game really is well done, and at the end of the day we should support anything that mocks oil companies that are this irresponsible.

(What does this score mean?)

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One of the things that I’m really enjoying about Wardrox’s latest (shameless plug alert!) pet project, Wire.vg, is that it is successfully helping me wade through much of the “stupid” that passes for videogame coverage on these here interwebz. Seeing as I like to talk about games and my life generally serves up opportunitites to do this, I’ve been promoting the new site whenever I can. God knows Wardrox’s other projects are likely doomed to crushing Dennisdyackian failure.

Aside from the usual places like videogame or electronics stores, I’m finding that there are more and more Dads talking about videogames while waiting for their little ones to go potty in public washrooms. Now, this isn’t as odd as it might sound. Raising children involves many ignominious changes to one’s life and standing in a public washroom singing softly to your son or daughter because it helps the “poopydoopy” come out, is just one of them. Public washrooms in restaurants, is just the latest place I have found other like-minded grey-hairs who like shooting things in the face.

I won’t bore you all with all of the debates that have gone on but I will state that the majority of videogame talk among men in washrooms, while waiting for junior to relieve himself, revolves around First-Person Shooters. I know, not exactly a surprise. Seeing as it’s Canada, up here we also talk a fair amount of hockey in washrooms but that’s just not relevant here. Occasionally we’ll also debate whether we in fact buy beer or just rent it, but that’s not germane either.

On one occasion recently I was talking to another Dad about Wire.vg while our kids were doing their business at a chain restaurant, when a third dad and his toddler came into the bathroom. I was talking about certain stories about monthly fees to play online shooters.

“The monthly fee idea seems kind of troublesome at first, but if it buys me special features and I get DLC and maps included then it’s a maybe for me.” I was saying. “If there’s a way to get all of the little rats off of Live that talk crap to me, and shouldn’t be playing anyway then I might consider it too.” Responded my new bathroom buddy. “The idea of contracts scares me because I don’t want to commit to anything for too long, but still…”

“Yo, screw Activision and their money grubbing nonesense.” Responded the third, obviously younger Dad, who was ushering in his toddler. “I’m not some loser MMO geek who is going to get sucked into paying a monthly fee for a game I already bought for my Xbox, that I already pay $60 bucks a year for the privilege to just use all of the features on the disc for Live Gold. If they go to this monthly fee I’m done.”

“But what if you got all of the DLC for a game included? What if you didn’t have to put up with a bunch of little welfare losers who skipped out on their third try at grade 10 to play videogames? Seriously isn’t that worth 10 bucks a month?” I asked. From the look on the face of the younger Dad, it became obvious that he might be one of the little twerps on Live or the PSN we were railing against. In retrospect the flat-lidded baseball cap that was turned to the side of his head should have been a clue. Any grown man who is a parent and wears his pants around his ass should be on federal watch-lists as far as I’m concerned. As I looked closer at him I noticed his pants were tucked into his socks. Good God he was even wearing fashion running shoes without laces.

An uncomfortable quiet came over the men’s room of this “Family Friendly” establishment. Then it dawned on me…he said “yo”, seriously, he said fucking “yo”. I wasn’t aware that people that did that without healthy doses of irony in their voices. Then he said it again; “Yo, I don’t care anyway, I’ll find a way to pirate that shit if it comes down to it anyway.” Now, my son is seven, he’s old enough to have heard the word shit and a fair number of other choice bad words in the schoolyard now but my bathroom buddy’s little guy was around three I think. He picked up his ankle-biter, they washed their hands in silence, and, after nodding at me, they left to go back their table for their nachos and chicken strips.

I turned to my son and gestured towards the door of the bathroom. Pale-One-Pac then turned to me and asked; “what’s that guy’s problem?”

“This is real life, he doesn’t have to put up with nonsense or coarse language if he doesn’t want to. Just imagine how many guys like that would pay for exclusive services in videogames and I think you’ll see how successful that development might be.”

Image: Flikr/dno1967

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Well, Jack Tretton guaranteed a Killzone 3, and at the Sony Press Conference in LA a couple of days ago, he delivered. While it’s usually Microsoft that lacks subtlety, Sony seems to be stepping up their marketing (thank God) and are certainly being more aggressive. At the presser they beat us over the head with 3D support, Playstation Move functionality, and jetpacks. Seeing as I’m a pretty big fan of Killzone 2 one might think that all of this brouhaha for the third console installment would have got my panties all dampened. Well, they haven’t in fact. At my age it usually takes a couple of popsicle sticks propping things up, to accomplish that.

Very few things concern me more than marketing and PR types touting all of the new features that have been added to an existing franchise that I am already a fan of. While I will eat the crow I richly deserve for pooh-pooing multiplayer being added to Uncharted 2 prior to launch, I still feel justified in my concerns about a bunch of suits possibly messing with one of the few online shooters that I have been committed to. Simply put, 3D support, Playstation Move functionality, and jet packs are not the things I want addressed in Killzone 3. My wish list for one of the best looking games I have ever played, is both a bit more practical, in my humble opinion, and certainly more cerebral. Bottom line, I want better online map design and I want to know why Rico is such a cocksucker in Killzone 2.

Don’t get me wrong, generally speaking the maps in Killzone 2 are some of the most interesting and enjoyable I’ve ever played. They are frequently multi-layered, large, and do a decent job of preventing spawn camping. For the record, the team working on the Warhawk sequel with Dylan Jobe might want to take note of how this is accomplished. The absolute best thing about Killzone 2 maps are that they rarely allow snipers to dominate. Sniping is a part of the game, but rarely will you find a good sniper exploiting, like on certain Call of Duty maps like Creek. Last year when I was enjoying nightly Killzone 2 sessions my only problem was getting in enough practice time. Until the map exploits started.

Initially, things really started to unravel with the clan matches. Certain clans would spam the rocket launchers to build a quick lead, and then hunker down in the spawn areas with as many turrets as could be built and then simply wait out the match. This, combined with some of the glitching that went on for a while, really affected the online experience. The glitching, as far as my anecdotal experience can tell, has now been taken care of. I have not come across anyone shooting me from outside of the map in any of the matches I have played in the last week or so. However, hunkering down in protected spawn areas is still a regular occurrence.

I accept that I may be sounding a little whiny with this complaint. I mean, if the designers are going to prevent spawn camping then the spawn areas need to be protected. I get that. I just think that a focus on balancing map structure would be better for the long term viability of a franchise rather than than shoe-horning in PS Move support. That is to say nothing of the irrelevance of 3D gaming being included. Seriously, Jack Tretton, how many 3D televisions were actually sold last year? Hell, how widespread are flat screen televisions? The new LCDs and Plasmas are even reasonably priced. My Samsung 42″ LCD is now roughly one half the price I paid two and half years ago. Also for the record Jack, your Sony Bravias are so overpriced and overhyped they might as well have little apples emblazoned on their backs. Now, as for Rico and his case of irritable vagina syndrome…

While I genuinely feel that I should be able to talk freely about a game as old as Killzone 2 is now, to avoid any of the whiny “spoiler alert” bitches out there, I may come across as somewhat cryptic at times. Frankly if you haven’t played Killzone 2, you should, it’s great. As for Rico, and his improbably annoying ass, there are at least two particular instances in Killzone 2 where he steps beyond the usual macho shooter nonesense and acts quite oddly. One involves a rescue mission, and the second involves one of the final scenes in the game. In both instances his actions are just inexplicable. They literally make no sense.

Now, I don’t think that what happens is simply poor writing, or just creative slovenliness. Guerilla took such pains in every other aspect of Killzone 2 that Rico’s asshol-ishness demands further attention. Simply put, the Rico character calls into question the moral imperative of the ISA forces, and as such, is one of the more interesting characters in modern shooters today. Essentially, I want a sincere explanation for Rico’s motivation. An exploration of his homo-erotic connection with Colonel Templar wouldn’t hurt either, but I don’t want to push my luck too far. If Rico’s motivation gets left on the cutting room floor, and fucking jet packs are still included then I’m going to be one pissed off middle-aged gamer.

So that’s it Guerilla, and Sony Computer Entertainment. I know Sony, you need to push all of those 3D televisions you’re building. And I also know Guerilla, you want a top tier advertising campaign for your next game and supporting some of these, “exciting new features” will likely greatly affect that. I just want to make sure that what made Killzone 2 a great game in the first place doesn’t get lost.

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Early in my career I was employed by a firm that sold counselling and therapy services to corporations to supplement extended benefits plans for their employees. In my role as an Account Manager I was responsible for maintaining the relationship with the corporate client as well as renegotiating contracts with said organizations. One day after I was in the job for about a year, the President of the firm called the Account Managers into his very tastefully decorated corner office with floor to ceiling windows and a panoramic view of the city. He was visibly agitated, and went on to brief us on how we were going to have to renegotiate existing contracts to include significant cost increases for all of our corporate clients.

We were flabbergasted to say the least. Marketing had been instructing us to highlight the relatively low costs associated with our services when compared to productivity loss from mental health issues. Basically we now had to approach clients we had known for a while and say, ‘œoooops, we messed up with our pricing formulas and now you need to pay us more.’

Some of us tried to argue that we were going to lose clients and revenue, to say nothing of any potential litigation around opening up existing contracts. The President was not prepared to hear anything of it, and in fact seemed most frustrated when he showed us his research that suggested how much money he was potentially losing. He referred to the firm as his ‘œbaby’ and genuinely seemed quite emotional about this entire issue.

My point in this preamble is to highlight the resolve corporations have when they feel that they are losing revenue to an addressable issue. After several awkward meetings with clients over a period of months, the dust settled and to be honest, while we lost some corporate clients, we kept many, and at the end of the fiscal year, the benefits of the move clearly outweighed the discomfort of the process. Which brings me to EA’s latest volley in their war on used game sales.

Sam Jordan recently posted here about EA’s plan to include a voucher or code with sales of their sports franchises that will be redeemable only once. Anyone purchasing used copies of Tiger Woods, Madden, or Fifa in the next year will have to pay an extra ten dollars(USD) to access online play. Judging from the comments and reactions here at Nukezilla as well as elsewhere, many in the gaming communities are not pleased with this development. The arguments against are very familiar and can be summarised as; EA is sorely mistaken and will ultimately lose revenue with this development. While I too am not pleased with the path that EA has chosen, I suspect that they will actually increase their profits, though not the extent they think they will.

Blitz games Co-Founder, Andrew Oliver, in an interview with Develop Online stated that ‘œthe bigger problem on consoles now is the trading in of games’ going on to say that his research suggests that ‘œpublisher and developer royalties are effectively quartered’ by the used game market. Mr. Oliver graciously concedes the benefits of used game sales to the consumer who is strapped for cash but I think anyone who has to work for a living would be hard pressed to argue with that figure. Even if publishers collect on a fraction of that lost earning, that’s still an increase for them.

The question here ultimately boils down to whether EA is going to get 75% more money from many of us in the upcoming years. To this I respond, not very likely. EA may effectively curtail a large segment of used game purchases of their titles; however, an increase like this one is hard to imagine. Also let’s be clear, this is a first step, EA is going to eventually use this approach with all of their games. Furthermore, when this does result in healthier spreadsheets, I think that many other publishers are going to follow suit.

When one considers the significance of paid downloadable content (DLC) in current game development plans, combined with this step, I think that the used game market is going to be hard pressed to maintain their current profit margins. Their problem is simple, the people that develop, produce, and publish what used game retailers need, absolutely hates them and will likely never stop until that system has been near abolished. From the developer and publisher’s standpoint, Gamestop and other such retailers are effectively stealing from them, and yes I can guarantee that the publishers see these products as their ‘œbabies’.

There is much more that needs to unfold as far as I’m concerned before the epitaph on used games retailers is finally written. There are gaps in EA’s reasoning that may eventually bite them in the ass. For example, not even the hardest of the hardcore gamers are going to keep investing in annual iterations on certain franchises with this system in place. As Sam accurately points out ‘œafter I[sic] spend £300 on a console, £40 on Xbox Live and then £20-£30 on a pre-owned title, I’m expected to shell out another few quid to play online’ is not a winning plan for EA.

If Sam or his mates invest in Fifa 10, are they likely to pick up Fifa 11, or Fifa World Cup if it means an extra expense and they can’t trade in their old version of the game? No way. EA needs to be very careful here, especially with their annualized sports franchises to not completely exterminate the used game market. I refuse to believe that even the most affluent of gamers are going to sit on five or six copies of Madden or Fifa when they could have sold them towards the purchase of new games.

Wiith Xbox Live currently charging for online play, is EA’s step not a breach of contract to millions of Xbox Live Gold members who, as far as they are concerned, have already paid for the privelage of accessing all of the multiplayer features on the disc? Sony has been leaking rumours and hints over the last six months about a move to a premium paid service on the Playstation Network (PSN). Even Nintendo are going to have to look at a paid service if their sales continue to fall steadily and are forced into another price drop. Consumers who have to pay to access online play are not going to be pleased with having to pay again if they try to save a few bucks on a used title.

At the end of the day, EA’s move to include a voucher with sales of their sports titles that enables online competitive play is going to make them more money. A little more anyway. However, I struggle with the figures that are bandied about that EA and other publishers hope to recoup. The fact remains that from their standpoint this is not just a financial issue that is easily addressable, I guarantee that it is an emotional one as well. The discomfort that will accompany this approach will be easily outweighed by the benefits. Unfortunately for us, because as in the case I discussed above, people will pay the extra ten dollars, or they just won’t buy used games as much. In this context, I can’t see EA in a purely negative light, the consumer needs to take some responsibility as well.

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Let’s be perfectly clear, while I am very much looking forward to the release of Halo: Reach this fall, I did not have high expectations for the beta. Betas in general are disappointing, and by definition probably should be as, if they are proper betas and not a mere marketing ploy, the developers are looking to fine tune an experience that is not yet ready for release. For example, the first week of the Uncharted 2 beta was a crushing disappointment that I found frustrating and almost put me off that entire aspect of a title I was very anxious for. Luckily I revisited the beta later on in that cycle leading up the release, and was treated to an excellent product that was still taking form.

As for Reach, this just over one gig download accessible to all copies of Halo 3: ODST went live roughly mid-afternoon yesterday EST. Frankly I expected the download to be slow as molasses but it took less than 20 minutes with a DSL connection and was problem free. During that download I also decided to load up the introduction to the beta video. Let’s just leave it that the video was ridiculous and cringe-inducing, with Aisha Tyler detailing the beta’s features, maps, weapons, and loadouts. 

Note to Bungie Studios: I have had it with washed up ‘œB’ or ‘œC’ list celebrities being used as spokespersons for videogame content. They are awkward and insulting to me as a gamer. If you want to genuinely brief your target audience on the feature set of your product, hire either a chubby balding guy or an anorexic one with a goatee and glasses. I know I’m perpetuating a stereotype but honestly, I’d rather see a snotty unpolished gamer than some aging bimbo mugging for the camera and an easy paycheque.

Before I go any further, this point should not be overlooked, the Halo: Reach beta is a genuine beta. There are warts and issues but that is to be expected. That being said, my initial impressions are very positive. Bungie’s pedigree in online multiplayer is without question obviously, and this is going to be another successful title for them. Below, I’m going to briefly touch on game modes, maps, and the classes I played around with. I have some thoughts about visuals but again, this is a beta and my expectations are low to begin with in that area.

During my first few play sessions I was in some public lobbies, hosted a couple of private rooms, and played the Grab Bag Playlist; CTF, Stockpile, Team Slayer, and a variant of Zones. The maps available on Grab Bag seemed to just be Powerhouse and Sword Base. Sword Base is a multi-level map with narrow corridors on the upper floors and a wide open lower floor with a suped-up grav-lift in the centre. The art style of Sword Base is very consistent with previous iterations of the franchise and frankly reminded of a few of the interior maps from Combat Evolved. Powerhouse is very reminiscent of High Ground from Halo 3 with similar characteristics. It is primarily an outdoor map with an arena in the centre with an exposed roof and entrances on different levels. This is a good map for the jet packs.

It’s fair to say that Reach is not unlike any other online shooter at the moment. If you have a coordinated attack, are familiar with the maps, and are comfortable with shooters in general you can figure things out easily enough. It should come as no surprise to anyone that the core mechanics of shooting and aiming are unchanged. However, I am having problems adjusting to the new button layout. I keep forgetting that the right shoulder button is for melee and reload is mapped to the X button. The button layout can be altered, but out of stubbornness I’m sticking to the default.

I also made a point of playing around a little with some of the loudouts or ‘œArmories’. As for the classes I felt that Air Assault (jet pack) and Stalker (invisibility) were most useful with Guard (temporary shield with EMP burst) also having advantages. The Scout (speed dash) class was almost completely irrelevant to me but it is early in the beta and I have only experienced two of the maps. Kudos to Nukezilla writer and all round sexy beast, Aaron Wheaton, for working on combinations with weapons and armories. He discovered that a Guard class with the shield carrying a hammer is a lethal combination and almost unbeatable playing defence during stockpile.

My final thoughts are on the visuals. Pyroph, Aaron, Naughton and I were discussing this last night and we were unclear as to whether Reach is utilizing completely new tech, or an upgraded Halo 3 engine. I recall reading last year that Bungie stated that they built Reach from the ground up with new technology, but I can’t find that quote anywhere currently. I also recall a quote from the vid docs about Reach representing an upgraded Halo 3 engine. I will keep looking into this and should have an answer by my next Halo: Reach update. 

Regardless, this is an attractive game. I have a three year old Samsung 42′ LCD using the factory component cables from my Xbox 360 and this game is a clear improvement over ODST. Gone is the retina-straining bloom of ODST, it has been replaced by respectable textures and a more measured hand with respect to lighting. Neither Sword Base nor Powerhouse are particularly large maps so I have no comment on draw distance or tearing, though I will be keeping an eye on this in the upcoming weeks.

I’ll be updating my impressions of the Halo: Reach beta over the next month.  Please feel free to leave any questions or comments below or email me at philbart999@gmail.com.

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Some of my friends are real potty-mouths.

‘œYou’re a cunt! You’re a fucking useless cunt.’

‘œAs a matter of fact I am, though usually it’s an ex or a current wife that gives me that kind of feedback.  What’s up your arse you whiny bitch?’

‘œYou told me that when my PS3′s disc drive failed and I had no cash that I should try Counter-Strike?’

‘œYeah seeing as you like shooters, it’s cheap as borsht, and it’s still a butt-load of fun I thought that you’d like it.  Excuse me for caring enough to recommend the very best.’

‘œWell it’s complete ass, I couldn’t even get into a game for like an hour, and when I did it was a succession of ‘˜BOOM HEADSHOT-BOOM HEADSHOT-BOOM HEADSHOT!’ And what the fuck is with all the clucking? Why am I the chicken?…I AM NOT THE CHICKEN!’

‘œYou are really worked up over this. Hey, I’m sorry I didn’t brief you better, but I thought you’d just figure it out on your own.  Frankly I can’t believe you’ve never played Counter-Strike before.  Why don’t you accept my Steam friend request and I’ll get you into a couple of servers I’ve played on.’

‘œSeriously, you think this game is comparable to CoD4, World at War, or Modern Warfare 2? Are you fucking stupid? I thought you played a lot of videogames man?’

‘œWell, first off, you’re a loser for only playing three games…’

‘œScrew you, I play NHL 09 and Madden as well.’

‘œSports games don’t count and stop interrupting me dickhead.  Anyhoo, you have such tunnel vision around this.  I’m not some douche pc elitist here, I love my consoles for many reasons and yeah the convenience and ease of interface is a big part of why, but there are amazing PC games that are a fraction of the cost of console games that give comparable and in some ways superior experiences. Hell, many of the maps I love in Counter-Strike were probably created by a handful of guys in their basements doing this for free.’

‘œThat’s horseshit, why would anyone do this for free?’

‘œBecause they’re insane, because they believe that videogames are a culture, because they believe that being part of this kind of community requires a commitment to contributing to said community, or maybe because Valve has a history of hiring people from the community whose work they respect?’

‘œYou realize that you’re climbing all up inside your ass don’t you? Now don’t paint Counter-Strike or PC gaming as some kind of land of beauty, purity and love. Those are some messed up motherfuckers in there. Did I tell you that instead of tea-bagging me, some German sounding guy spray painted a picture of a tea bag on the wall near where my blood was splattered? How do you even fucking do that? And then he fucking laughed at me, I mean really laughed at me.’

‘œYes, laughter in any language is still laughter.’

‘œFuck you. Now, I thought you said something about a Simpsons’ level? Where the fuck is that?! I can’t load up the levels I want, and why do I always get the Glock when everyone else has assault weapons?’

‘œWell first off it’s not a level it’s a map and it’s called gg Simpsons Street and you should look over the available servers to see if there is a map that catches your fancy.  Look, I know there aren’t the same bells and whistles with Counter-Strike as there are with CoD or MAG, but when you get right down to it, it is everything that most shooters aspire to be and a bit more when you consider the content from the community. Frankly if your computer can handle it on low settings even, you’re probably going to get more value in the long run than you would ever get in a console game.’

‘œPhil?’

‘œYeah?’

‘œYou’re getting a little up your own ass again. I can only see your toes sticking out of your hole now.’

‘œOh, sorry. About that Glock only situation, so your finger never even accidentally bumped into the B key?’

‘œWhat does that even mean? Does that have anything to with dollar amounts that appear in the HUD?’

‘œTell you what I’ll help you out. Here’s a pro-tip, if you see a hostage, shoot him in the head.  You’ll get bonus points and the other guys will totally think you’re cool.’

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The announcement of Gears of War 3 and a conversation with a younger friend has got Phil feeling a little reflective about relationships, bodily fluids, and console cycles.

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According to Scambled Pixel fan favourites Wolverine and Spiderman will return along with a large roster of old and new fighters on this disc based edition of the franchise. As for a release date nothing specific was confirmed by Capcom but they did allude a late 2010 early 2011 release. The hi def fans will also be pleased to hear that Marvel vs. Capcom 3 will be presented in 1080p.

So if over the top 2D fighting games with crazy juggles and an almost obsessive commitment to fan service is relevant to  your interests check out this awesome teaser and start building up the calluses on your thumbs.

Image: Giant Bomb

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The announcement of a Warhawk tournament this week by the Playstation Blog has been met with a mixed reception in the community. Sony has been heavily promoting their Spring sales, and the recent price drop of the excellent third-person shooter from Incognito has prompted SCE to re-energize the game’s following anew with a tournament. However, concerns around fairness, actual possibility of winning, and the value of tournament prizes are raging through the Warhawk forums.

Though my personal Warhawk play time has waned of late, the announcement of this tournament really has my juices flowing again. Granted, while preparing for the tournament is going to cut into my FFXIII time, the break from Vanille’s insipid cooing may be quite cathartic. The possibility of being able to compete against some of the best players in the world should have been met with only enthusiasm, ironically it has not been. Before we go any further, details of the tournament from Playstation’s US and EU blogs are as follows:

• Competition starts on April 2nd at 5am Pacific Time and will run through May 3rd at 5am Pacific Time.
• Players must play on Official Sony Servers named ‘œTournament-CTF-1,2,3, etc.’
• Competition is open to North American AND European players.
• The top 50 players that have earned the most Points on these designated servers will win the competition.

Winners will receive the very rare Champions Blade which is an in-game weapon like a trophy that you can bash people with. You’ll also get a special edition Warhawk shirt for your avatar in Home ‘” only available to the winners of this competition.

Before I address the negative response from the Warhawk community some details about the game are important to review. Firstly, this is a difficult game to jump into. Levelling up is not easy and if you are accustomed to regular promotions in other shooters like Modern Warfare 2 or Battlefield Bad Company 2, then you may find this game frustrating. The maps are massive, they require a lot of practice, and the combat itself demands a commitment despite the addition of a tutorial; something some of us saw as a bit of a sissy move when it dropped as a free download in August 2008 that also saw Trophy support added.

My concerns about the response from the community revolve around the petulance in the tone of some of the posters. One poster wrote:

‘œPeople with no life will win’ while another added:

‘œThis tournament thing, doesn’t look appealing to me. They should of [sic] given us better prizes. Goes back to playing BFBC2 and U2.”

There are many other comments like these which concerned me but they follow the same strain. The reality of a game like Warhawk is that it truly is a hard game, and I think that even the so-called ‘œhardcore’ gamers are drifting into casual territory with the whining and complaining displayed here.

The tone of entitlement is equally troubling as it is tantamount to kids playing basketball in their driveway and then expecting to win a Varsity Tournament. Yes the fifty winners of this tournament are going to be the same players who have dominated for years now. Yes the winners are also going to be the regulars who invest a large amount of time in the game as well as the community. Why are these bad things? Frankly I’m looking forward to just getting on the same server as some of these players to see where I measure up. I know I’m not going to win but who cares? Warhawk is one of the great success stories of this generation of games and it’s a pleasure to play for any reason.

If you’re looking for me in April (PSN: bartholomew999), just check the tournament servers in Warhawk, I’ll be near the bottom in most of the matches and I’ll be having an awesome time.

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A lot is made in the media about the rudeness and general social-ineptness of gamers. According to many outlets, the average gamer is nerdy, coarse, and contributes daily to the downfall of all that is good and right in the universe. As you may guessed, I have a different view.

Some of you know that I’m currently on parental leave looking after my five month old son. Even though cleaning diapers and catering to a shrimpy being that is as reasonable and logical as a badger on weed is just as rewarding as one would think, I’m finding that some time out in public helps with maintaining my sanity. Now I don’t know about where you all live, but in my neck of the woods, my coffee shop is offering up free Wifi. Needless to say, that’s where I’m spending some quality time when the spawn’s schedule permits it. A nice large dark roast of coffee, a somewhat reliable laptop, and a sleeping baby make for a decent couple of hours every now and then. I should have known that it was too good to last.

My coffee shop is just off the highway and has a drive-thru so not many people actually come inside; they get theirs to-go and I usually don’t have to endure the snivelling nonsense normally associated with going to a nicer cafe. Until THEY arrived. THEY are a trio of stay-at-home moms who also recently discovered the joys of free Wifi, espresso, and big comfy chairs. I don’t know their names but I’ll refer to them as Blonde 1, Blonde 2, and The Trampy One. The Trampy One wears miniskirts all the time…and shouldn’t.

The problems arose immediately when they realized that a man was in the shop with an infant. If I had been alone they probably wouldn’t have bothered with me. As it is, some women seem to feel that the presence of a baby in their vicinity means that they must become wholly absorbed in the brat’s existence and that they have to ask all kinds of questions. “How old, what was his his birthweight, how was the labour, did you have a midwife/birthcoach/gimp of somesuch?” are just some of the questions. Trust me there were more. Seeing as I was raised a good Catholic boy, and am employed as a social service worker I have a annoying predilection to be initially polite to people even when I want to be left alone. This frequently gets me into trouble as I can get grumpy when pushed. I assume that if I am polite to people they will be polite back and will fuck off when the niceties have been exchanged.

So, I answered their questions and they oooh-ed and ahhhh-ed at the right spots and commented on how handsome the baby was. Actually he looked kind of rashy at the time and his head is a bit misshapen if you ask me. But what do I know, I’m just the father. I knew my fate was sealed, and serenity was lost when Blonde 1 looked at my laptop and asked about NegativeGamer.com. All three of the women have kids who are gamers and they now see me as their game and general tech consultant.

“No, your nine year old should not play God of War 3.”
“If your daughter is texting P.A.W. that means, (p)arents (a)re (w)atching, so her other friends won’t text or message anything inappropriate, until you leave the room that is.”
“Why yes I believe that a game can be as absorbing and powerful as film, and maybe one day as a novel, but not yet.”

These are just some of the topics we have covered at the cafe. Usually, after they pick my brains for a bit, THEY leave me alone.

Last week though, they asked about Bayonetta. Blonde 2 usually brings her Macbook and hey guess what, it couldn’t connect to the network for some reason. So my trusty and cheap little Dell was used to show the ladies some gameplay from Bayonetta. I loaded up a gameplay video for the game, and THEY hovered around baby Michael and me. After the video they agreed that it was not a game for their sons. Then:
“Boy, remember when we had breasts like that?”
“I guess your wife would say the same thing? Beastfeeding is the bane of breasts eh?” (We are Canadian after all.)
“Actually we bottle-feed.” And then it began.
“Really?! Have you considered that your baby needs nutrients from the mother’s body to assist with the immune system and BLAH-BLAH-FUCKING-BLAH!” I really don’t need to go on any further, THEY were amazed that my wife and I were not breast-feeding the baby.

Back to the issue of the manners of gamers versus the rest of the populace: how many gamers would go off on a relative stranger about breasts like this? NONE! This was where I was starting to get frustrated; I never wanted to talk to these people in the first place. All I wanted was some quiet time out in society where I could write and surf and not be bothered. But nooooooo. Trampy and the Blondettes had crossed the line. They genuinely felt entitled to an explanation as to why the baby wasn’t being breast fed.

Finally I couldn’t take it anymore.
“Look, you three are being really inappropriate.”
“What’s inappropriate is the way you’re ignoring your child’s health and welfare,” interrupted Blonde 1.
“OK enough. Why don’t you three tit-zealots move along and I’ll finish my coffee in peace, how about that?” Actually, baby Michael was stirring as our voices were raising slightly.
“…”
“What did you call us?”
“I called you tit-zealots. You are displaying a zealotry for not just your own tits, but for tits everywhere. And not tits in the fun way, tits that are engaged in providing nutrition to mouthy little brats. You are neither entitled to, nor are you going to get an explanation as to why my wife and I chose not to breast feed our baby!”

After some more arguing, the cafe manager became involved and eventually things calmed down. THEY don’t come to the cafe anymore and I wear headphones constantly, even if I’m not actually listening to anything. The odd time someone, usually a senior fucking citizen tries to engage me in conversation I gesture at my headphones and look apologetic.

But on a totally unrelated note, I think that I’m going to pick up Bayonetta…

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While I have had no personal time with it, the description of class based shooting in competitive multiplayer has me very interested.  Furthermore, the art style is very reminiscent of Team Fortress 2 and I have always been a sucker for cel-shading.

No dates have been announced for the planned console releases of this title on PSN and XBLA, however April 8 has been confirmed for PC.  Steam subscribers that pre-order Lead And Gold will be given access to the beta that is on now. According to Joystiq, what gameplay details that have been announced describe “four classes…each equipped with a special ability. One can throw dynamite, while another can ‘˜mark’ an enemy. (Marked enemies take twice the normal rate of damage.)’

So if you’re like me and are resentful every time you have to get off the couch, even to simply slide a disc into a console, then this may relevant to your interests as well. Let’s just hope that this title doesn’t fall into the same chasm that Battlefield 1943 did with the spawn camping and exploits.

Image: Giant Bomb

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Frankly, seeing as Microsoft funded these episodes in the form of $50 million, years ago, this just feels like another slap in the face for PS3 and PC fans of the franchise. One can obviously understand Rockstar gargling Microsoft’s financial load, but this delay just smacks of a combination of arrogance and stupidity. Personally I loved GTA IV on my PS3…a long time ago. Considering the PS3 exclusives that have dropped recently and the press they have garnered, it will be interesting to see if this affects sales of the episodes.

GTA Episodes From Liberty City will release for PS3 and PC on April 13th in North America and April 16th in Europe.

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However, occasionally game publishers will see the light and give themselves the facepalm the rest of the industry usually does.

According to 1UP, in this case it took one of the sleeper hits of 2009 to get Sony to admit to a pretty big blunder. Speaking at GDC 2010 on the subject of localization, Yeonkyung Kim admitted that Sony missed out on taking full advantage of Demon’s Souls. Even though both Sony Europe and America passed on publishing Demon’s Souls due to concerns about the difficulty, Atlus chose to pick up the dark medieval RPG and recently reported a 578% year on year increase in profits thanks in part to that decision.

One can only hope that concerns about localization in the West as well as in the East become less of an issue in the future. It would be nice to see fewer situations like this or with Yakuza 4, which is gearing up for release in Japan while the third chapter has only just dropped here in North America.

One would think that given the financial issues the industry has experienced over the last 18 months, that getting good games into the hands of gamers should not be an issue. As a corollary to this, the initial distribution order for Demon’s Souls was for a mere 15,000 copies and the game is fast approaching 250,000 units sold. I’m pretty sure Sony could have used a bigger slice of that pie.

Via: MCV

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Though the conference is specifically for game developers there are usually a few announcements and interesting tidbits that come out of GDC. Highlights of this year’s conference will likely include John Carmac’s Lifetime Achievement Award, a presentation by acclaimed game writer Susan O’Connor who has worked on Bioshock and Gears of War among others, and of course Sid Meier’s much anticipated presentation ‘œThe Psychology of Game Design (Everything You Know is Wrong)’.

Check back on the site throughout the week for stories and discussion of the week’s developments. Also, don’t forget about the forums. The first livestream looks to be G4tv‘s coverage of Sony’s GDC Press Conference at 7pm Est on March 10th.

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‘œMr. Doherty? The Doctor will see you now…Mr. Doherty??? Sir? SIR!?’

‘œOh, sorry. I guess I couldn’t hear you.’

‘œSir, we ask that all the Doctor’s patients refrain from using ear bud type headphones in the waiting room for this very reason. You almost missed your turn and might have had to wait even longer.’

‘œWell, seeing as I had to wait a month for this appointment, and then had to arrange baby-sitting for the entire day because the wait for the Doctor is usually at least three hours for every appointment, I’m pretty glad that you raised your voice. I don’t think that my injury could have waited any longer.’

‘œMr. Doherty, do you really think that sarcasm is helpful?’

‘œAbout as helpful as condescension.’

‘œThis way Mr. Doherty. You’re on the left, please take off your jacket and expose the injured area.’

‘œNurse?’

*Sigh* ‘œYes Mr. Doherty’

‘œHave a nice day, seriously.’

‘œThank you Mr. Doherty.’ And she left.

Normally I try to be somewhat respectful to medical professionals, but the wait for my Doctor is just ridiculous and to be honest I really don’t give a shit. The shrews that work at this clinic are a bunch of reformed crack whores and are as useless as Tiger Woods at a lesbian convention. Luckily, being belligerent but not aggressive often means that once I get to the actual examination room, my Doctor isn’t far behind as I think that they just want rid of me.

‘œMr. Doherty, sorry for the wait…what can I do for you today?’

‘œIt’s all right Doctor, your staff help make the time fly by. I seem to have torn something in my right tricep. It’s really painful and over the counter painkillers aren’t doing the trick. Could you take a look at it?’

‘œOf course.’ She said, and then proceeded to poke, bend and prod around my upper arm, lower arm, and then my shoulder. All of which was fucking painful. She had this somewhat pained smile on her face and frankly I couldn’t tell if she was being sympathetic or sadistically enjoying my suffering.

‘œWell, I don’t think there are any torn tendons, though there is some inflammation in your tricep and also in your forearm. Do you have any idea how this happened?’

“Nope.’

‘œI beg your pardon? You have no idea how this happened? That’s somewhat odd as this looks like a muscle strain. You must have some idea…’

‘œOkay, it was a videogame.’

‘œOh, were you playing with that Wii Sp-’ I cut her off.

‘œNo! I was not playing the goddamn Wii thank you very much.’

‘œHey, there’s no need for that type of reaction. What were you playing then?’

‘œIt’s not important.’

‘œMr. Doherty this is getting strange. I am not going to treat you until I have the entire picture of what happened here. Now what videogame were you playing?’

‘œDJ Hero.’

‘œHuh?’

‘œDJ Hero. Have you heard of Guitar Hero, or Rock Band?’ She nodded ‘ It’s like that only with hip-hop and rap music. Unlike the repetitive nonsense of those band games, it’s actually very creative and is one of the more interesting things to happen to the music genre since the first Guitar Hero came out. It’s really excellent.’

‘œMr. Doherty, how old are you?’ Before I could answer she consulted her file and then raised her eyebrows.

‘œVery well, I’m not going to send you for X-Rays as there is no indication of a fracture but could show me what you did to hurt yourself with this game?’

Feeling like an idiot, I then proceeded to mimic the actions of scratching. ‘œYou see the notes come down a modified highway that emulates a turntable and then you scratch…like so. I think it was the scratching that really did it to me. You see, I was trying the Jay Z Mixtape on Hard and there is a lot of scratching. Come to think of it, the Grandmaster Flash joints also had a lot of scratching. Maybe it was that set list? Bloody Wardrox, it’s his fault for recommending this stupid game to me.’

‘œWho is Wardrox?’

‘œYou know what doc, that’s an excellent question; who IS Wardrox? He’s a dude that owes me a fricking tricep that’s who.’ While I sat on the exam table air-scratching like a mothafucka and giggling at my inside joke I realized that the Doctor was handing me a prescription sheet and looking at me oddly.

‘œMr. Doherty, ice your tricep and your forearm three times daily. This prescription is for an anti-inflammatory. If the pain and swelling persist for another three weeks come back. Also, I think you should take a break from your videogame.’

‘œYou know doc, you really should try it. It’s a great game, and you might enjoy the music. It’s a pretty eclectic mix of older stuff and newer-’

‘œMr. Doherty, I have other patients to see.’

‘œOh, Okay…Doctor?’

‘œYes?’

‘œHave a nice day, seriously.’

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Feel free to leave any comments or suggestions below. Feedback is always appreciated.

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Reporting for Industry Gamers, James Brightman explores this very issue. In Brightman’s piece he consults analyst Todd Greenwald about THQ’s upcoming Q3 earnings report, who said that Darksiders “didn’t perform up to THQ’s expectations, likely selling less than 1 million units despite heavy marketing dollars [and] 2-3 years of development costs.” Though they also go on to discuss that MX vs. ATV Reflex and other Wii titles are also contributing to the poor fiscal performance for the publisher, it’s interesting that Darksiders is the title that is highlighted for the fail label.

There is irony in the fact that a dog of a game like MX vs. ATV Reflex or some Wii shovelware, and a credible Zelda-inspired action game are all mentioned in the same breath. Unfortunately this feels like yet another nail in the coffin for creative new IPs. Recently EA has been burned by underperforming new IPs like Mirror’s Edge, Brutal Legend, and their numerous Wii failures. Pandemic Studios shut operations just before Christmas 2009 and right after the release of The Saboteur, also an underappreciated original IP.

If you’re the kind of person who is cynical, and we all know the name of this site, then you can look forward to Guitar Hero 8, Call Of Duty 7 Space Warfare, and Rock Band-High School Musical coming to a games retailer near you soon.

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Growing old really sucks, don’t let anyone tell you any differently.  Furthermore, growing older while involved in the videogame industry is even worse.  There are reminders of your inadequacy right there on your TV screen every time you boot up a game or log on for some multiplayer.  From the insane levels of racism and homophobia in online games, to dealing with people less than half of your age, it’s pretty ugly.

Every once in a while I pause and reflect on the irritating prick I have become in my old age.  I question decisions I have made, things I have done, and mostly I cringe at some of things I have said to people.  Last week I paused and asked myself, is this all there is?  Am I alone in this commitment to curmudgeon-hood?  If I’m being perfectly honest I also ask, how is it that no one has kicked my ass for some of the nonsense that has come out of my mouth?  I have found in these moments of existential crisis it sometimes helps to seek out the counsel of a respected peer.  Historically my attempts to seek acceptance from Wardrox and Halfleft have ended with them laughing at me, and asking if I took my medication on time. So I decided to look elsewhere.

Recently I sought out Michael Pachter, Analyst for Wedbush Securities, and on-air contributor to “The Bonus Round” for Gametrailers.com for some sage advice and of course, to pick his brain a bit about the games industry, upcoming videogames, and families.  Michael graciously agreed to answer some questions and essentially, to indulge a pathetic loser like myself.  He is eminently quotable, extremely knowledgeable, and really is one the nicest guys I have dealt with in the industry to date.

Phil: First of all, Michael, thanks so much for doing this.  I guess my first question is; what drew you to entertainment and game market analysis?  And conversely what drives to be so involved in gaming communities?  Sweaty nerds with angry dispositions on message boards are, granted, pots of fun. But seriously why?

Michael: I was just lucky. Early in my career, I was a lawyer, and my job took me in the direction of doing mergers and acquisitions. I got an MBA to help me with the business aspect of the job, and after a couple of different opportunities, I was lucky enough to land a job at Wedbush in Research. I became the video game analyst after my predecessor quit to take a job at Midway Games. An essential part of my research is knowing what gamers are thinking, anticipating, and saying about games, so I religiously read the enthusiast sites. I find the sense of community endearing, and genuinely value the input I get from these sites. I have several acquaintances met on these boards, and many are quite thoughtful and intelligent.

Phil: I understand that Assassin’s Creed 2 is taking up some of your time right now.  I also know that Fallout 3 was a game of the year for you.  Is it all about the story for you?  Or do you just like shooting and stabbing things?  I know I do.

Michael: I really hate melee fighting games, and hated AC 1. I’m playing AC2 mostly because I wanted to give one of these a try, and I enjoyed Batman Arkham Asylum so much. Also, it got great ratings, and I am friends with the guy who wrote the story (Corey May). And yes, I like RPG’s and strategy games.

Phil: It’s an ongoing debate in my house, with a six year-old boy and a baby, over what games are appropriate and what aren’t.  How do you balance this in your household?  I know for instance that you stated on a Bonus Round for Gametrailers.com that your girls really enjoy Little Big Planet.  Do they ever get wind of the fact that there are “grown-up” games out there?

Michael: My kids occasionally watch me play games, so they’ve seen violence. I keep the sound low or off, so they don’t hear any bad words. Most games aren’t that violent, but Fallout 3 had heads explode when you shot them. I think everything is about balance, and so far, they haven’t shown interest in playing M-rated games.

Phil: One of the things I find fascinating about the games industry including the blogs and gamesites, is the way that it brings scientists, engineers, journalists, artists and business people together in a weird but exciting way.  Is there room in a profit driven economy, one that is still quite stressed, for creativity and art?  Also as a follow up, can you name an industry where the “hard core” consumers seem to be so anti-establishment and anti-profit, while also so committed to contributing to the creative process themselves?  An example would be the way that Steam has such a committed following of skilled fans who contribute, free of charge to Source mods?

Michael: I agree that the industry is fascinating, and think that the only real differentiator in a couple of years will be the art. As far as industries where the hard core is anti-profit, I suppose you see it in the extreme sports area, and probably anywhere that attracts young (and still idealistic) people. To some extent, you see it with garage bands in music as well. What I find amusing is that these same anti-establishment types stand in line at GameStop at midnight to buy a mass market game like Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2.

Phil: Recently my wife, who is a family therapist in private practice, and I had a debate about Bayonetta and whether overtly sexualized female protagonists in games were empowering or just fuel for a teenage boy’s spank-bank.  Do these issues ever come up in your private or professional life for debate?  What are your thoughts?

Michael: I don’t discuss game content with my wife or daughters. I find sexualized female protagonists unnecessary, and am consistently surprised when they show up in games.

Phil: Games with extensive multiplayer elements are a challenge for me.  I don’t have the time to commit to becoming good at them and I can’t be bothered with all of the nonsense that seems to go along with those communities anymore.  What are your thoughts on the aged and competitive multiplayer games?  Are we doomed to be fodder for 12 year-olds with virtual sniper rifles?

Michael: I am not a multiplayer guy at all, primarily because my reflexes are too slow to be competitive, and the smack talk of 13 year-old boys is annoying. Yes, we’re doomed.

Phil: Regarding the consoles; you recently stated on a Bonus Round that (I’m paraphrasing) third party exclusives no longer make financial sense and that they will eventually go away.  Do you stand by that? If so, are we not losing some of the socio-cultural identity that exclusives and console wars are actually very good at fostering?  Brand loyalty isn’t necessarily a terrible thing for some.

Michael: I think that the installed base is sufficiently large that exclusives don’t make economic sense. Any game made for the PS3 or 360 can be ported to the other console for a couple of million dollars, and the prize is too great to ignore. The PS3 and 360 are very similar in power and output, and there’s no reason for third parties to pick one or the other and leave money on the table.

Phil: There was such a glut of music games in 2009, is there hope for this genre?  Surely DJ Hero has been the only new and interesting thing in a long time and despite good review scores, it still did not sell well at all.  Are Guitar Hero and Rock Band trending towards strong but consistently lower sales every year like the Madden franchise?

Michael: Music will continue to sell to new console purchasers, and to a much smaller extent, to the installed base. The genre dropped from over $1.6 billion in 2008 to under $900 million in 2009, and I expect it to drop to $600 million or so this year. That’s still as big as GTA, so big enough.

Phil: Regarding the games industry for 2010, what is most intriguing for you?

Michael: I’m most intrigued by the Wii audience, and whether they will start to buy more games this year. It’s clear to me that the 360 and PS3 have phenomenal content early in the year, but Nintendo’s lineup is back-end loaded.

Phil: Finally, and this is purely self-serving, how do you deal with the crushing realization that what was best about life is now behind us and that all we are really doing is just killing time until the inevitable wretched transfer to a sub-standard nursing home where we’ll be victimized daily by minimum-wage earning troglodytes?

Michael: I’m pretty sure I will die at home, so the nursing home is not an issue for me. I love having games in my life, and my goal is to be a gamer into my 90′s.

So there you have it Negative Gamers. Michael Pachter can been seen regularly on Gametrailers.com as part of “The Bonus Round”, and also has his own new show, “Pach-Attack”.

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I have always found it quite rewarding that pinheads who shell out roughly twice the money that PC fans do, for hardware that is rarely upgradeable, have always had limited options for gaming.  That and the fact that Apple seems so committed to screwing their supporters over so regularly by releasing new iterations of their products so frequently, has left quite a sour taste in my mouth.  Sadly, my days as a Mac hater may be coming to an unceremonious end.

Apple recently announced an event to showcase their ‘œlatest creation‘ which is rumoured to be a ‘œ10 or 11 inch touchscreen tablet.’  Cnet has reported that on top of the rumours about the tablet, Apple has specifically invited members of the gaming press to the event at San Francisco’s Yerba Buena Centre for the Arts Theatre.  In the Cnet piece discussing predictions and possibilities for the January 27 event, Erica Ogg points out that while this could be more about an iPhone update than a brief or a tech demo on Apps for a tablet Mac, the gaming possibilities for such a device are intriguing.  With whispers about a sub $1000 price tag for this device, and the success of other touch-enabled devices over the last five years, even a hardened Mac hater like myself is somewhat frothy over these gaming rumours.

Let’s be honest, while there is great potential for a reasonably priced tablet, there are still a few hurdles for Apple in the gaming market.  Just because the App Store for the iPhone/iPod Touch is a huge success, does not mean that this system translates well to the laptop market.  People are willing to drop 99¢ to $4.99 on simple games and applications for a handheld.  Just by virtue of being on a tablet the consumer is going to expect more, but is not likely going to want to pay more in the current economy.  Also, and this has more to do with the iPhone, consumers are willing to spend the 99¢ for throw-away software because they are always connected through the wireless service.  Unless Apple is willing to add a wireless service to their tablet product, the impulse buying that has made the iTunes App Store so successful is unlikely to pay off as lucratively.

So stay tuned for more on this event next week.  Despite what I generally think about Apple and their products, they are a significant player in the computer and music industry and have a history of pushing an envelope or two.  Finally, don’t forget that Steve Jobs is back in play and attended a recent iPod event.  One can’t help but think that now that he has returned from a leave for health issues, that he would want to make a fairly serious splash. I can just see him now scrubbing that black turtleneck, and picking up a new pair of jeans from the Gap.

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In the realm of third-person action games few franchises have been able to combine accessibility, gorgeous graphics, and visceral thrills the way that the God Of War series has done.  Many could argue that the original God Of War is one the greatest games to have graced the PS2.  With a surly, almost hateful protagonist, whose potential for violence was matched only by his libido, this franchise has achieved many things.

It helped advance the Playstation brand, it made shamelessly altering Greek mythology acceptable, and most importantly it convinced many idiots all over the world that quick time events(QTE) were a viable game mechanic and an effective way to advance a story.  Apparently if you put tits and the insinuation of sex into a game, pimply pre-teens will spend hours pressing a triangle button when the screen tells them to, and they will think that this is awesome.

While these games have always provided the player with some of the best that the genre has to offer, it has come at the expense of game length.  Once players started mastering the QTEs, they started to realize that these games are not particularly long.  In fact they’re pretty darn short.  As we approach the March 16, release date for God Of War III, news is starting to leak out about one of the most anticipated games of 2010.

According to Industry Gamers, Hight has stated that the third instalment in this franchise will exceed, wait for it, ten hours.  Yes, for the anywhere from $60-$70 fans will pay for God Of War III, they will be rewarded with a whopping ten whole hours of gameplay.  Can you say, rental?



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Being an older gamer has its advantages.  As I am older and more established I get to play most of the games that I want without having to worry whether “Mom and Dad” will approve. My Mom and Dad both know that they better keep their mouths shut or I’ll be shipping them off to the cheapest nursing home I can find when the time comes. A place where the term “Bowel Day” will likely take on an element of horror and not just disgust.  However, as we well know from Peter Molyneux, life is complicated and there are checks and balances. With the good comes the inevitable bad. The bad in my case means that people seem to feel like they can talk to me in public when I clearly want to be left alone.

Recently, I assume because she thinks we’re both fat, my Mother-In-Law quite generously purchased memberships at a health club for my wife, myself and the kids. It has an indoor walking track, ice hockey rink, full fitness centre, indoor pool with waterslide, and a couple of restaurants just to top things off. In other words, it’s rather nice. So the Missus and I have been going walking on the track and flexing our flabbiness, and trying to be generally more healthy. We take turns carrying the baby around in a carrier while the other goes to the fitness centre to indulge in various forms of masochism. Recently it was my turn to carry the baby around in the carrier, which straps onto our backs and pretty comfortably keeps the spawn content. Apparently though, having grey hair and carrying a baby gives the unwashed masses carte blanche to just strike up conversations with me whenever they choose.

“Ummm Sir?…Sir? I beg your pardon sir?”

“Are you talking to me?”

“Yes sir I am. I was wondering, what are you doing?”

“Well, not that it’s any of your goddam business, but I’m trying to urinate while playing a game on my iPhone.”

“While holding a baby?”

“Yes, er, well no. I’m not actually holding him, he’s suspended in my Baby Bjorn. So he’s fine. Now if you don’t mind, I’m still working on two of my three objectives here, and frankly talking to a voice that is standing behind me while trying to take a piss is kind of odd.”

“Do you really think that it’s appropriate to be holding an infant while urinating, and playing a videogame on your phone?”

“You mean…as opposed to the propriety of harassing a man and his infant child in a public washroom?”

“Ummmm, yes, I guess so. It’s rather unhygienic don’t you think?”

“Look, I’m going to indulge you for approximately two minutes and then I’m going to start screaming for the police and I will accuse you of not only trying to fondle me but trying to interfere with an infant. My first point, is that I am not endangering my child, he is very secure in a $130 Baby Bjorn carrier. My second point is that I am playing Real Racing GTI, which is particularly good, and seeing as I’m just standing here for a bit I thought I’d play a game of it because I can play this game one-handed. And finally, it’s  NONE OF YOUR FUCKING BUSINESS.”

“You’re very rude.”

“You have no idea.”

“Would you like your baby’s first words to be fuck?”

“I would if you are nearby yes.”

And then he left, I assume, because the mindless questions stopped. In all honesty I was fairly cautious when I turned around and kept a fairly close eye on my other patrons. No one in the area could describe the man I talked about. A few had heard us talking in the bathroom but no one caught what the guy looked like. On the way out of the health club later I looked around for someone watching for me so I could identify this nut to the security staff. I never did see his face. I wonder if he’ll reappear at some point?  The moral of this story? Fitness is bad for you and your children.

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Unfortunately there were only twelve codes to give out and, as cliché as it sounds, I really do wish we had enough for all who entered.  I’d even like to give one to Gandy who has hatefully wished AIDS upon me and my family.  But alas, he did not reference Tribbles in his curse against my auto immune system.  So, sorry Gandy.  I tried.  For anyone who would like to review the entries here is the link to the original post for the competition.

If you could just pretend that there is a drum roll playing in the background, I give you in no particular order…THE WINNERS!

Harry for his picture “Phantom Of The Star Trek”
bdavid81 for his picture “Tribble In A Cup” off Twitter
Rifter01 for his picture “IM IN UR CHARE” and a haiku
Sh4dow_Cr4ft for his awesome picture “I have had it with these motherfucking Tribbles”
James_El for his picture that gave me a woody “I Slept With A Tribble”
James Chadderton for “Khaaaaaannnnnn!!!!!”
Ouched for his haiku “They eat all day long”
Wex for his haiku of hope and ambivalence “Man I hope Tribbles”
Dr. Steve Brule for his haiku “Tribbles are a blast”
TravDiddy for his picture “It’s What’s For Dinner”
superd1984 for his cryptic haiku “Tribble Tribble Trib”
And last, but certainly not least:
n0brein for his picture “WTF Those is like…”

Thanks again to every one who entered. Keep checking Negative Gamer for more contests in the future. If you won and don’t hear from me in the next 24 hours email me at phil@negativegamer.com. I’ll be in touch with the winners as soon as possible with their codes and instructions for the beta. Enjoy, and

Live Long And Prosper

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In the comments below you can post a picture displaying a Tribble, write a haiku in tribute to Tribbles, or produce an original sketch or video of or about Tribbles (if you’re confused, this is what Tribbles are). Also, if you’re following me on Twitter feel free to direct entries there as well.

The contest will last for 24 hours so the winners will be sent codes tomorrow evening, Sunday January 10th.

If any of you are worried that Gandy will have an unfair advantage due to his disturbing involvement in the Furry community, he won’t. Apparently he likes his furry things, somewhat…larger shall we say?

All right, get going Negative Gamers!

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For gaming blogs, the New Year is a time for reflection, planning, and shameless hit-seeking posts about what might happen in the future based on absolutely nothing reliable other than what one can pull out of one’s ass.  This idea came to me while watching TV.  During a commercial break up pops Randy Couture, former MMA Champion, and current enemy to Dana White and The UFC.  He was pimping some new exercise equipment that attaches to your door and it struck me; isn’t he supposed to be the first named fighter on EA’s rumoured MMA title that is in development?  So why is he shamelessly pimping some piece of shit wall-mounted exercise equipment on a niche cartoon channel?

Then I also remembered that the last 4 Guys 1Up podcast with David Ellis shared a rumour about a new EA IP involving ‘œfemurs.’  What with EA getting slammed financially this year and seriously losing ground to Activision/Blizzard due in part to investing in under-performing new IPs it seems that a UFC clone might be too much of a gamble for EA.

For it to be any kind of a competitor with the well regarded UFC Undisputed from 2009 it would require recognizable fighters with MMA profiles.  While there are other MMA leagues than the UFC, they are not nearly as well known to the general populace and would carry absolutely no ‘œwow’ factor for MMA fans and gamers.  Thus, it would require a lot of resources to attract fighters to a new title.  Resources that I don’t think EA can spare right now.  That combined with the fact that UFC CEO Dana White has threatened any fighter that signs with EA for their MMA title with a permanent ban from UFC events and competition spells doom for other titles until another MMA league asserts itself on a National level.  In other words, an MMA fighting game could easily turn into another big headache for John Riccitello.

So if you take MMA and Randy Couture out of the picture what is left for a fighting game that involves heavy use of one’s femur?  That spells Muay Thai Boxing to me.  EA could sign a bunch of unknowns for next to nothing and could definitely cash in on a potential untapped market.  That, and Muay Thai Boxing is hot right now.  A new Muay Thai style fighter is planned for the upcoming Super Street Fighter 4.  Also, Muay Thai is a fighting style that relies less on clutching, grounding, and pounding, and more on fan-friendly striking and kicking.

One thing that stood out for me with UFC Unleashed was its precision and faithfulness to the sport of Mixed Martial Arts.  The game demands that the player try to time strikes followed by clutches and throws while also monitoring one’s fatigue levels in setting up submissions.  The drawbacks though are that this is unforgiving to casual players, and not always fun to watch or experience as a fighting game.  The technical prowess is impressive yet it lacks the visual eye candy of games like Blazblue or Tekken 6.  With all due respect to the sport of MMA and the achievement of UFC Unleashed I think that there is a market out there for a Muay Thai fighting game. Based on some very circumstantial evidence I think that’s what EA will bring to the table in 2010, and yes while also scrapping their MMA game.

Happy New Year Negative Gamers!

Image: Wikipedia

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