Nukezilla Review: NiGHTS into Dreams (PS3)

Twas the afternoon of Christmas, eggnog in my cup,

wondering when all these visitors would shut the hell up.

I went back to my room, shut the door with a slap,

to settle in for my nightshift worker’s nap.

—

I was awoken by a noise both boisterous and great,

Begrudgingly I got up, already irate.

To my surprise, there was Santa, getting down from his sleigh,

with an old Sega Saturn and 4-in-1 Action Replay.

 —

“It’s that time of year,” he said with a smile.

Just what he meant, I wondered a while.

Then it struck me, ’twas news that overexcites:

It’s the best time of year to play Christmas NiGHTS!

 —

I played it for hours, all presents unlocked,

when Santa announced something that totally shocked:

On PS3! On PC! On Xbox 360!

And at $9.99 it’s even quite thrifty.

 —

NiGHTS into Dreams and Christmas NiGHTS together at last,

just download, install and start having a blast.

But then, a discovery made my joy disappear:

some of the bonuses are no longer here.

—

Versus mode and Sonic into Dreams are removed!

“What the hell Santa,” I loudly disapproved.

“But now people don’t have to dig up a Saturn (even though they should).

Plus this version’s in HD, and it’s almost as good.”

 —

I realized Santa was right, feeling like a bit of a clown,

why promote a 16-year-old demo to track down?

The game is still great, why live in the past?

(Even if the Saturn version is still unsurpassed.)

—

NiGHTS is a cult classic, rereleased for the masses.

At only 10 bucks, it’s fine even for cheap-asses.

Santa reboarded his sleigh, bound for the North Pole,

having made at least one Saturn fan’s holiday feel whole.

—

“Merry Christmas NiGHTS to all, and to all good cheer!”

Maybe he’ll bring us Panzer Dragoon Saga next year…

—

This review is day twenty-five of the December 2012 Nukestravaganza