Nukezilla Review: NiGHTS into Dreams (PS3)
Twas the afternoon of Christmas, eggnog in my cup,
wondering when all these visitors would shut the hell up.
I went back to my room, shut the door with a slap,
to settle in for my nightshift worker’s nap.
I was awoken by a noise both boisterous and great,
Begrudgingly I got up, already irate.
To my surprise, there was Santa, getting down from his sleigh,
with an old Sega Saturn and 4-in-1 Action Replay.
“It’s that time of year,” he said with a smile.
Just what he meant, I wondered a while.
Then it struck me, ’twas news that overexcites:
It’s the best time of year to play Christmas NiGHTS!
I played it for hours, all presents unlocked,
when Santa announced something that totally shocked:
On PS3! On PC! On Xbox 360!
And at $9.99 it’s even quite thrifty.
NiGHTS into Dreams and Christmas NiGHTS together at last,
just download, install and start having a blast.
But then, a discovery made my joy disappear:
some of the bonuses are no longer here.
Versus mode and Sonic into Dreams are removed!
“What the hell Santa,” I loudly disapproved.
“But now people don’t have to dig up a Saturn (even though they should).
Plus this version’s in HD, and it’s almost as good.”
I realized Santa was right, feeling like a bit of a clown,
why promote a 16-year-old demo to track down?
The game is still great, why live in the past?
(Even if the Saturn version is still unsurpassed.)
NiGHTS is a cult classic, rereleased for the masses.
At only 10 bucks, it’s fine even for cheap-asses.
Santa reboarded his sleigh, bound for the North Pole,
having made at least one Saturn fan’s holiday feel whole.
“Merry Christmas NiGHTS to all, and to all good cheer!”
Maybe he’ll bring us Panzer Dragoon Saga next year…
This review is day twenty-five of the December 2012 Nukestravaganza