Short Form:

Nightmare Customer Service Experience with Microsoft after Xbox Live Account Hacking

Are you a hacker? Do you steal Xbox Live accounts? Do you live in Russia? If you answered “no” to all of these questions, Microsoft probably still won’t care when you call them to report that your own account has been hacked. They’ll just assume you’re making it up to get out of…something.

Or at least that’s what might happen, according to one Microsoft customer who goes by the gamertag dmaul1114. The customer posted on the Cheap Ass Gamer forums on February 1st about a horrible experience with Microsoft’s already lackluster customer service.

An automated email in Russian was dmaul1114′s first clue that something was amiss. Apparently, dmaul1114′s account had been hacked by someone in Russia who then spent MS points already on the account to purchase Rift. Then the hacker used dmaul1114′s account to hack into other accounts, and the nefarious activity was traced back to dmaul1114 because, according to Microsoft’s records, the account hacking happened “while [dmaul1114] was in control of the account,” or at least before dmaul1114 was aware of what was going on and reported the account as compromised.

So, long story short, dmaul1114 gets the missing MS points refunded, but in the meantime the account was permanently banned from Xbox Live for “attempting to steal other accounts,” as dmaul1114 somehow simultaneously lived in Russia and the US, even though evidence shows this is obviously false.

All I know is that if dmaul1114 showed up at Microsoft headquarters with a chainsaw and attempted to chop up every single member of the Xbox Live Policy Enforcement Team (who conducted the “investigation” of the hacked account), part of me would have a hard time finding sympathy for those individuals. Not that I’m condoning violence, but Microsoft has acted appallingly and should be ashamed of their treatment of this loyal paying customer.

What’s more, I can say from personal experience that this is not an isolated case of Microsoft being less than helpful when it comes to compromised accounts. Microsoft apparently thinks that once you give them money, they’re allowed to treat you like shit with no repercussions at all.

However…

dmaul1114 posted an update to the story the next day affirming that because of random internet strangers spreading the word about their plight, Microsoft has seen the light and done a more thorough investigation, leading them to find dmaul1114 innocent of all accusations and lift the ban from the account. And while they’re happy about this personal triumph, they will “be even more pleased if this awful experience never happens to anyone else”.

I can agree with that sentiment, dmaul1114 — but I won’t hold my breath.