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NZCast 4.08 Transcript

What follows is a text transcription of the first five minutes or so of the latest NZCast. Provided by the painfully patient (one must assume) Simon Bradley. I don’t know why we have this. Tell your friends!

[START 0:00:00]

[Intro music]

Gavin:

[inaudible] … I’m not made of money.

John:

Shut up Gavin! And welcome to the NZCast, the Nukezilla.com podcast about videogames. This is going to be a slightly short show because me and Gavin accidentally spent about an hour and a half talking about bullshit that’s not very important—

Gavin:

Accidentally?

John:

Well, I didn’t intend to. [Gavin grunts disparagingly]

This is a podcast where we sort of talk about videogames a bit, so if you like videogames then come on in. Have we got such an exciting show for you! In this show you will learn how to get free beer in London and I might mention the word ‘feminism’.

Gavin:

I’ll say fuck and cunt ‘n’ shit and stuff like that.

John:

Yeah, Gavin, you’ll lower the tone enough to make people feel fine.

Gavin:

I’ll appeal to the demographic.

John:

Actually, yeah, ‘cause I know how lazy our demographic is, to get free beer basically: there’s a Eurogamer Expo happening in London in a few weeks time and on the 22^nd of… is it September?

Gavin:

Yes.

John:

Okay. On the 22^nd of September, there is a pub called the Chandos, look it up, it’s near Trafalgar Square and it’s on the same Tube line as Earl’s Court where the Eurogamer Expo is. Go there at seven o’clock, look for the slightly fat guy and the guy who looks miserable and that will be me and Gavin.

Gavin:

Respective.

John:

Yeah, yeah, respectively obviously. And come up to us and be like… “h… hi…”

Gavin:

Yeah, but if you’re, like, a weirdo—

John:

We’ll pretend we don’t know you.

Gavin:

Yeah, just fuck off. I don’t want to know you. [John laughs] I don’t!

John:

But if you’re not, if you’re the kind of person who goes “I could… I could do that! I could pretend to be normal for half an hour”, then come along and I’ll buy you a beer.

Gavin:

It’s not hard to be normal, I can’t abide people who’re socially awkward in this kind of stuff.

John:

No, that’s most of the people listening Gavin.

Gavin:

Well, too bad for them. No, to be honest, I think ours tend to be a slightly higher calibre. That’s why we’ve got a lot less of them.

John:

[Laughs] Yeah… So! With that out of the way, I guess we should get on with the podcast then. Yay! Podcast. Are you excited, Gavin?

Gavin:

I have shit myself with excitement. There is shit everywhere.

John:

Hurray! Faecal celebration.

We’re going to start… Erm, we’re not actually going to start with the news. We normally start with the news but, instead, I’ve come up with a new segment called ‘Shut up Gavin: Roller Derby’ in which I talk about roller derby, which is a sport, which is a game, which makes this a gaming podcast. And there is a roller derby videogame for the Wii.

Gavin:

What defines… when does something become a sport? Like, what makes something a sport?

John:

I don’t know.

Gavin:

Like, is chess a sport? Is curling a sport? Are videogames a sport? If they’re competitive. Wii sports and that? I love watching Starcraft replays, me.

John:

You’re like a sports fan.

Gavin:

Am I right? Did you see that ludicrous display last night?

John:

What was Wenger thinking? Sending on the something-something—

Gavin:

Aw, you didn’t finish it right. Never mind. The listeners will know what I mean.

John:

Yeah they will. That makes me feel like we’re all sat in a pub and you made a joke, and I didn’t get it and you just made eye-contact with every other person.

Gavin:

Yeah, that was like socially awkward penguin IRL.

John:

Oh, now there’s like two hundred people quietly drinking their drink and not making eye-contact. See, that kind of level of socially awkward, totally acceptable in the pub.

Gavin:

I disagree.

John:

Well, you’ll be sat by yourself then.

Gavin:

That’s fine by me. I’d rather be alone just having a drink then being forced in to conversation with weirdoes.

John:

I’m fine with conversations with weirdoes.

Gavin:

You are weird, so… They’re your people. I’m relatively normal.

John:

My people. Er, so yeah! I went from the feminism and BDSM workshop to roller derby on Sunday.

Gavin:

God. I forgot about that.

John:

I’m not even going to talk about it.

Gavin:

How was that? I want to know. How was it?

John:

It was actually really interesting! It wasn’t super super weird, it was just some cool people sitting around having a fairly structured discussion of—

Gavin:

Who made the sandwiches?

John:

There was a group there called Food Not Bombs who provided the food. This is at the DIY Feminist Festival at Platt Chapel—

Gavin:

DIY?

John:

Yes!

[End 0:05:07]

If your interest is piqued, you can hear the full podcast here.