Shoddy Journalism Ruins Borderlands 2 Reveal

Gamers everywhere were OUTRAGED by Eurogamer‘s blatant disregard for 2K’s marketing scheme when they revealed that Borderlands 2 is a thing.

Gearbox Software CEO Randy Pitchford, pictured to the left under a pile of his company’s ports and WW2 shooters groundbreaking games, was FURIOUS that a publication would dare make claims about a game that clearly did not exist yet.

“We’ve only announced what we’ve announced,” Pitchford exclaimed. “If we haven’t announced it, it doesn’t exist.”

This is completely true. Just as Gordan Freeman lies dead in a ditch off the interstate until Gabe Newell is wheeled to his parapet by a manservant and proclaims that Half Life 3 has a release date, no single thing ever can exist until it has a press release.

Pitchford announced the next day that Borderlands 2 is coming and to look in Game Informer, a magazine that gave the proper hand jobs has high journalistic integrity, for all the marketing details.

See “journalists”? This is how you get stories. Not with research or sources, but by begging to be part of a marketing campaign.

With his game properly announced, Pitchford promptly kicked a puppy and pushed an old woman off a curb and into the street.

“This is highly sophisticated humor,” Pitchford said. “The critics just don’t get it.”

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