Possible List Of Roles For Grand Theft Auto V Uncovered

With a little help from the Superannuation twitter account, a NeoGAF poster has discovered a possible cast of characters for Rockstar’s as-yet-unconfirmed Grand Theft Auto V. You can find the list below:

Mitch Hayes:
38 – Annoying, wise-cracking, highly successful FBI agent. In great shape. Does triathlons, drinks low-cal beer, but still has a sense of humor.

Miguel Gonzalez:
25 – Young Mexican American FBI agent, caught between a few mob bosses. Very clean cut.

Clyde:
23 – Moronic, almost inbred, creepy white trash hillbilly. Very naïve but in a creepy ‘it’s only incest’ sort of way

Brother Adam:
50 – Welsh monk / cult leader / yoga teacher, very lithe, very into exploring your personal tension through gripping massage. Needs Welsh accent.

Mrs. Avery:
48 – Neurotic soccer mom, home maker, anxious and addled on pain killers. Very angry at her neighbor, Mrs. Bell.

Mrs. Bell:
45 – Swinger, and mellow Californian divorcee. Ugly but comfortable with self.

Eddie:
47 – Weed evangelist, guy who started smoking at 30, and is now a leading proponent of marijuana’s fantastic properties. White, awkward.

Ira Bernstein:
56 – publicist for an actress known as America’s newest sweetheart who just so happens to love animals, orphans, drugs and sex. He’s always trying to hide her latest indiscretion.

Kevin De Silva:
18 – Albert’s fat, FPS playing gamer son. Smokes a lot of weed, has anxiety issues and a card for a bad back, very soft, very opinionated. Into making racist comments while playing online.

Harut Vartanyan:
42-52 – Armenian car dealer, money lender, would-be Fagin and would-be bully. Heavily connected to the underworld, but irritates people so much no one likes him.

Nervous Jerry:
48 – Paranoiac living in the sticks, near Simon, completely paranoid, and terrified of Simon.

Calvin North:
55 – Burnt-out FBI agent who now mostly works offering advice on TV shows – whose only claim to fame turns out to be entirely false – but a decent guy in other ways. Badly dressed. Divorced. Putting on weight.

Jerry Cole:
53 – Disabled IT expert and criminal information vendor.

Rich Roberts:
35 – English Hardman actor who acts tough but who wants to do serious work – the only problem is he can’t quite read the words.

Alex:
52 – White loosie-goosie hippy rich guy who has lost his money and is getting desperate but trying not to.

Scarlet:
45-52 – Unshaven female spiritualist and hippy with a love of exploring the wilderness. Very into journeys.

Chad:
29 – Pretty boy misogynistic Beverly Hills party boy. Makes money, but not as cool as he thinks he is.

Tae Wong:
39 – Somewhat incompetent Chinese mobster, loves doing ecstasy and going to raves.

Taes Translator:
45 – VERY STRAIGHT LACED Chinese translator, terrified of his boss’s dad. Male, awkward. Needs to speak Chinese.

The roles have yet to be cast. It’s been rumored for quite a while that the next GTA is set in Hollywood. While that is, of course, not yet official, I can tell you as a Los Angeles citizen, these are the types of people you find in California in general; which is interesting considering Rockstar already tried their hand at the state with Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas. Perhaps GTAV will focus more on the current-day image of the state seen through the news and reality television with a fictional Hollywood as the center piece (the legalization of marijuana would certainly be a key trait). There’s also the fact that San Andreas was actually more of a 90′s period piece (not that these characters wouldn’t have worked in that game. The more things change, the more they stay the same).

Analysts peg Grand Theft Auto V for 2012.