Views From Scotland: The Inherent Scottish Roots of Gran Turismo 5

The 24th of November is a very special date in the calendar of PlayStation 3 owners the world over. Not only is it a Wednesday – a WEDNESDAY, special to all PS3 owners for reasons too secret to disclose – it’s also the release date of Gran Turismo 5. Yes, that Gran Turismo 5.

You probably know that it was created in the Land of the Rising Sun by Tokyo-based Polyphony Digital, Gran Turismo is the last word in driving simulation. But what you may not know, or be hard-pressed to believe, is that like all great things in this world it has its roots in the Land of Kilts and Haggis (official title status to be confirmed).

Don’t believe the theory? Look at the list of Scottish inventions on that epitome of reliable information, Wikipedia. Television, telephones, the steam engine, penicillin, radar, the Bank of England: they’re all Scottish inventions. Ipso facto ergo, the Scots invented Gran Turismo 5.

Don’t just take my word for it though my dear, dear Nukezilla reader. You need only consult other corners of the internet (but not Wikipedia, because that’s obviously really unreliable and nobody in their right mind would dare use that for referencing anything in a meticulously-researched opinion article) to find proof of Gran Turismo 5’s tartan-based roots.

Let us journey back to the 1800s, to the root of mass-produced automobile history: Henry T Ford, the pioneer of the Model T and the consumer motorcar. Ford was born of an Irish father, William, who came from Country Cork. As the great Irish potato famine of 1840 took place in, er, 1840 and Henry was born in 1863 we can assume that his father, documented as having married in Michigan in 1850, left during the potato famine.

However, many Irish men and women emigrated to closer shores than those offered up by the then-26-in-number United States. “Some went to Scotland” is generally the point I’m making here, if you didn’t catch that by now. An Irish man moves to the States and his son creates the world’s first mass-produced car. An Irish man moves to Scotland and Gran Turismo 5 exists 170 years later. Therefore, as logic dictates, Scotland is responsible for the PS3’s greatest racing game.

Still not convinced? If you need further proof I refer you to the archives of history, or to be more specific the archives of classical art. Here’s Shipping On The Clyde, a painting by English artist John Atkinson Grimshaw – the piece depicts a Scottish shipping yard on a miserable wet day (proof, if any proof were needed, that it’s a true-to-life depiction of Scotland) and a street of cobblestones. And what’s set into that cobbled road?

Bingo. Etched into the cobblestones of Glasgow, way back in the 1800s, was Gran Turismo itself – truly a sign of what the Scots were ready to embrace many years down the line. If it seems like a fabulous coincidence, worry not. The final piece of fantastical, bedazzling proof that Gran Turismo 5 is a Scottish creation? Here’s creator Kazunori Yamauchi’s family tree, based on hours of in-depth research and a flight to Japan to meet his close relatives:

There you go. Irrefutable proof. Enjoy your racing game, PS3 owners – you’re welcome.