Adventures in Teenage Gaming: Lady Friends
Girl: “So what do you like to do?”
Guy: “I love playing videogames.”
Girl: “…”
As a university student, I am expected to have sex with a lady friend I don’t know very well so I can take part in an unofficial “How was she?” survey the next morning. From what I hear, doing ‘the business’ for pleasure at university wins you high-fives, the bro fist, man-points and instant respect amongst your male peers. ‘Victory’ with a videogame doesn’t seem to have any social reward on the other hand.
So why am I attempting to complete Fallout 3 while my flat-mate attempts to get laid?
Perhaps I’m approaching the whole sexual conquest thing naively; I don’t really want a slice of the American pie, I just want to kill some Ghouls with a Shishkebab. From time to time I will turn on ‘bro mode’ when with the lads but I’ve found myself being told to ‘man up’ when taking offence to a mate shunning a girl after leading her on. I don’t see every good-looking girl as a mountable object, and that seems to make me a bad person (or at least a bad bloke).
I was asked a few days ago how many partners I’ve had: I replied none, and was surprised to be told that’s a good thing. If I didn’t like playing videogames or watching lots of films, I may well have lost my virginity to a girl I don’t know or didn’t want to sleep with. Some would say me spending money on games instead of overpriced alcohol and avoiding nights out on the town to play Bad Company 2 has left me missing out on a vital part of living life. Would they be right? Does me enjoying reclusive hobbies more than social ones strip me of a social identity?
I brought this up briefly last time – a recent purchase of an Xbox 360 pretty much condemned me to many nights in and not out – but my point this time regards the idea of meeting peer expectations. My mates are (or are at least trying to be) sexually active and I’m expected to follow suit, but when looking at my room, my clothes and my personal possessions it’s clear that I’m certainly not.
I drink strong blond beer for the taste and I don’t drink to get drunk, I wear ill-fitting clothes and sport a scruffy beard and messily windswept hair, I keep my room clear of clutter but fill it with technology and I play music from the 50s because I prefer it to the shite people subject themselves to nowadays.
I am not your typical teenage ‘lad’: aside from enjoying a ruddy good game of football I am anything but. I don’t care about having sex and if I go through university life without having it I’ll probably be the only one okay with that. I enjoy hanging out with mates and having a laugh, whether that’s at home or at a club, but if one of them wants to pick up a girl and have her cook them breakfast the next morning, I guess I’ll be the guy cracking the eggs and letting her down easy.
I’ll probably get a decent breakfast out of it…
Fake and gay.
Dude did you just admit on the internet that you’re a virgin? Is that a thing? Are people doing that now? YOU HEAR HIM NZ STAFF! You don’t need to hide behind your Harry Potter cosplay capes ANYMORE!
Although the concept of masculinity in a nerdy culture is a fascinating topic to discuss, this needs a proper podcast… *hint* *hint*
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fQVPjLAulaM#t=1m48s
There, my work here is done.
@darkwhitehair: I’m straight, but thanks for asking…
This is fun, as much as I’d like to write a mature comment, I want to come up with some awful derogatory shit.
Heh heh… I wrote “come”
@darkwhitehair: Hey amigo, quit trolling Harry. Surely you have better things to do on a Wednesday evening. I heard Glee is FANTASTIC this season.
Hey Harry, ily
Love it, love everything about it.
@Brett Parsons: Aww, come on, he’s being adorable.
But damn, I have to say I’m disappointed in you, Harry. There are much, much better uses for that Shishkebab. Ghouls? Hell, you can take out an entire slaver camp with one of those things.
If I were you, I would be belligerently disinterested – even insulting – whenever your friends do the bro-speak on you. It seems like they’re all equally incapable of stepping out from the crowd so maybe you need to set the trend. I saw somebody make geology look badass once and now I’m convinced that anything can seem badass if you set the trend.
Glee’s second season’s a little disappointing thus far…
While I’ll admit that nights out on the town can be fun, there are surely few things worse than going on a shit, over-priced night out with no proper ales and the like and a lot of dubstep, out of a feeling of obligation that you ‘should be going out’, and then realising that you could’ve stayed at home playing Mega Man and listening to podcasts with a cup of tea. Which is a damn sight cheaper.
Regarding bro-speak and the like , it was the tiniest bit unpleasant when a friend, who I thought was really sound, called someone a ‘faggot’ unironically for treating a woman with respect. Ugh.
Girls are sexy and have nice bums. One day you may be close with such things, but there’s really no need to try super-hard.
True story: I had a good friend who went off to uni and whored it up to the max. He got AIDs and dropped out within a year.
Meh, if you don’t feel like you’re missing out, more power to you. Makes life easier.
Bros before hoes, broseph. Broseidon, god of the broceans.
Also fuck you. Ke$ha is safe, innit bruv.
Don’t pander to the modern social norms. Society is warped these days. Bedding 50 randoms will not enrich your life in any way shape or form. You only get one crack at this whole journey of life. So do what you do, not just to appease peers. Enrich your life through thought and experience.
respect, Harry
@Gavin Allmond:
kesha is a dirt ho. Encrusted tramp shit.
Nice to know I’m not the only one who doesn’t see sex as a necessary activity. Let the haters hate, Harry. While they’re off proving their “manliness” by acting like base animals, you can rest easy knowing that even if you’re not doing something productive per se, at least you’re not risking kids and disease for a bit of fleeting pleasure.
You had my respect in everything you said up until the part you said you like a ruddy good game of football.
CALL YOURSELF A GEEK?! You should be ashamed.
@UglyDuck: I’ve got mates who don’t dip into the dude dictionary and others that do. I’m betting a lot of people do – you’ve probably got friends who are obsessed with trying to sleep with women and denounce others that don’t as gay or such.
They’re mates though so I just go along with it. They’re nice guys, I just don’t have the same thought process they do. It’s the same with most things – a mate will like dubstep and I’ll like indie & pop-rock. They love crappy horror films with hot women in, I like films with narrative flair and convention experimenting.
This is an area, as darkwhitehair said, worthy of a podcast.
Just do your thing and have fun, that’s at least my philosophy. If you wanna mess around, mess around. If you wanna play a game, play a game. Just do what works for you. There is no rule about what you should do at your age and in your situation, there’s just people that think there way is the best way.
You definitely should NOT base your sexual habits on the influence or opinions of your peers. It’s an important and very personal part of who you are, and you ought not to just go and get laid for the story or the “bro fist.”
That being said, you should occasionally shut the game off and socialize. There’s a reason why gamers are stigmatized as being antisocial. Social skills are important for anyone living an a society, and not all of these skills are inherent in your DNA. You do actually need to practice socializing in order to be any good at it.
No, you don’t need to go out and get wasted to do this, nor do you have to be Don Juan Orgymaster to get ladies. But someday you will meet an amazing woman that you’ll want to have sex with, and if you want to have any shot at all of doing this, you’ll need at least basic male to female social skills.
@Brett Parsons: Glee is on Tuesday nights, not Wednesday. I heard that anyway, I’m way too busy watching UFC fights on DVD that night. And bench pressing shit. I don’t watch Glee.
Shit, I watch Glee.
I had the same lifestyle as you when i was in University, well, close anyways. Into games, films, chillin with the boys who are all trying to get laid. College/University girls are easy, it was just a matter of actually wanting to get laid or not. Couldn’t help but feel that hollow feeling when getting with a girl you didn’t give a shit about.
Saved it until I met my girlfriend, who I am with now. And I do not regret not having 1-night-stands with those other girls.
Do what works for you. Go out, have fun, live life. If playing games and creating deep relationships with women is your thing, do it.
You don’t have to become a bro… but if there is any part of you that has even the slightest desire then it’s worth polishing your social skills for when it matters.
“True story: I had a good friend who went off to uni and whored it up to the max. He got AIDs and dropped out within a year.”
No offense to your friend, that is quite serious, but either he was stupid enough to be having UNPROTECTED sex with junkies, or he was sharing needles with some seriously sick people. Simply being a whore doesn’t get you aids, aids from sexual intercourse isn’t easy, and is almost impossible if properly using a condom. Sorry for your friend, but he would have had to be a total moron. I am only saying this to avert the common misconception among nerds that being promiscuous will get you aids. You have to be seriously near-sighted to not see the chick you’re laying is a frail junky, and seriously forgetful to not remember to put a condom on in such a situation.
Also, to the blogger. I remember when I was like you, but once you actually meet a nice girl and have sex. You will understand, sure it’s not all it’s cracked up to be, but there is something seriously alluring about the opposite sex, and I guarantee you will look back at this post and laugh. Sex is fun, women are fun, but if you’ve never experienced the good parts, and only experienced the bad parts(bros), of course you will think it doesn’t matter.
I suggest you’d as another poster suggested and start just socializing with women a bit more, in a few years when you grow a bit more comfortable in your skin you will be glad you have even that experience with them, I guarantee, you will start noticing them more. And just in general start improving yourself(for yourself). It won’t happen over night, but having women notice you, is the best thing in the world.
@Brett Parsons: YOU DON’T FUCKING MOUTH OFF AT ME UNTIL YOU’VE WRITTEN A GODDAMN PODCAST REVIEW!
Also, I think we need to have one podcast with thought provoking discussions like this and another for the NZ Game Club. But no one ever listens to me… sigh… :(
This site used to be about being negative man… wardrox fucking sold out man…
Fuck this shit and fuck your 500+ concurrent users… THIS IS BULLSHIT!
It’s refreshing to hear about college and university guys that don’t all want to contract AIDS.
@Darkwhitehair: Bloody hell Darkwhitehair, i offered to help out on your podcasting foibles but you were like waaah this is hard and left..ok to be fair no one else was interested. And me adjudicating a two man podcast would not be heterosexual.
And you all listen to Uncle Adushan here. I’m older than all o you’s (probably) and I aint slept with no woman cause i’m waiting for the right one…yes that’s it….sob…allll by my seeeellllf…
But honestly, live with a clear conscience. No regrets. It’s too short.
@Adushan Govender: It’s not that, I was hoping for formal support from the NZ staff. Community podcasts (LIKE THE COMMUNICAST) rarely last a while, if we can get a coupla NZ Staff to create some test episodes…
Anyways, I’ll finish MoH and Enslaved and then BlOps and try this shit out. Me and you buddy, together we can do anything!
Juuust the two of us. We can make it if we try…And if no one supports us, lets just do it and release it on our on website…called Negativegamer. It’ll be awesome, we’ll have dinosaurs!