How The Inclusion of Monster Trucks Would Improve Bioshock 2

A while ago I wrote a guest editorial for Sarcastic Gamer on how the inclusion of Gundams would improve Bioshock. With today being Monster Truck Day here on NG I thought it might be nice to write a follow up of the game’s sequel, explaining how Bioshock 2 would be far more awesome if it had monster trucks in.

Big Daddies are cool. They are big, beefy and, at least in the last game, dangerous. But in the sequel they seem much less of a threat, not least because you’re now a more powerful Big Daddy. But what if the Big Daddy was a (or in a) monster truck?

A monster truck with a huge drill and a plasmid cannon. Now we’re talking! What else? Oh, the Little Sister can sit in the back or something. They can be the ones filling up the trucks with petrol (see, totally fits with the original). It’s all set in the undersea monster-truck-topia that is: Rapture-mageddon. An extreme sports city… gone wrong. Sinclair on a quad bike, Poole on a BMX and Lamb manning the pyrotechnics.

Maybe that was a bit too far, the whole Rapture-mageddon thing, but monster trucks could be used in any number of cool ways in the game. What about if instead of simply taking the train from location to location you took the Delta-Mobile; a huge Grave Digger-esque truck upgraded as you go (similar to the upgrade Crackdown car)? Driving levels would separate out each of the on-foot levels seamlessly, probably. Maybe race against other splicer-manned trucks, or simply try to do as much damage as possible. If you need a plot reason for all this to go down; how about it’s to please your Little Sister? Everyone knows kids love this stuff.

At the end of each driving section you get to the moral choice: a huge ramp leading into an arena. You can fly dramatically off the ramp into the centre, or simply drive around and skulk in though the normal door. In the arena you’ll be facing an enemy boss similar to Robosaurus and jumping in gives you a handy damage bonus. However, if you take the ramp you’ll land on your Little Sister, and she’s super cute. Moral dilemma! At the end of the game if you killed more than you didn’t kill, you get frowned at.

I could go on, but I think even with just these few examples I’ve conclusively proved monster trucks would improve Bioshock 2 immeasurably.