Negative Gamer Review: The Impossible Game (Xbox Live Indie Games)

Ignoring the potential for bold discrepancies present in The Impossible Game‘s definite article, FlukeDude’s minimalist platformer professes nothing above the literal: ‘œjump over spikes and jump on blocks to get to the end.’ While quantifying the ‘œgood’ or ‘œbad’ in a title with such obvious, single track limitation is difficult, one cannot err on the validity of its only other promise: to be ‘œquite possibly the world’s hardest game’.

Using a single button on an increasingly gnarled and anger withered controller, I set about trying to conquer The Impossible Game. Thanks to the developer for providing a download code to facilitate my failure.

Impossible.

Rather than using a depressingly finite system of lives, The Impossible Game instead taunts the player with a screen projected after each death cementing in number the sum-total of one’s ‘œattempts’. The slightest knock, all the result of ill timed jumps, spells avatar dispersion and instant restart. Obstacles come in two flavours: spikes and steps.

At first glance, The Impossible Game‘s opening runaway appears deceptively simple. As obstacles scroll at a fixed rate towards the player’s primary coloured cube, the A button is struck in staccato to launch the spiralling quadrilateral over tightly peppered pointers one or two at a time. After a reasonable shock in the quick introduction of a two step staircase, player learns without prior warning that black floor similarly equals geometric death.

Attempt 2 and I am struck down by my own inability to ignore soundtrack and jump to obstacle rather than rhythmic will. Attempt 3 and I have again inexplicably gouged ol’ Red hamfistedly before stair set arrival. Attempt 4 sees a successful vertical traverse and a sense of giddy progress when presented with a simple rung of punctuated spikes, but in what would become a pattern of tempered breathing and finger flex, punctuation in death at the foot of the game’s second ascent. I watch in horror as the attempt counter balloons to triple figures in minutes.

Equally spaced, the up / down arc of blocks, some 20 obstacles in, should present little challenge if approached correctly, yet somehow, I was rendered incapable.

Living room inadequacies.

Make no mistake, The Impossible Game is both moreish and cripplingly difficult. The developer’s taunting run on YouTube serves only to highlight living room inadequacies via its single button finesse, egging individuals to sink more and more time memorising pixel distance and digit constants. It is perhaps the title’s greatest achievement that twitch gaming this outwardly shallow, content to punish like a hyper refined Barnstorming, can command such dedication from player.

Yet with all but the utterly linear removed, an index prod at pad in lap is The Impossible Game‘s entire experience summarised. Of course, the desire for a championing finish is what drives the player to continue as listed attempts spiral out of mathematical control, but the essence, a flat plain goading motor memory and unblinking vision, is experienced in full after a single jump. The Impossible Game exists like an edition of Guitar Hero filled with nothing but the intro to Through the Fire and Flames on eternal loop, with fingering patterns altered with slight but aggravating consistency.

Un-documented outside of the patronising “learn to play” title option is the game’s practice mode. Allowing the placement of unlimited user-set flags to offer Trials HD style checkpoints, this hand-held approach to subtly taught progress was to be my only brush with the lofty, dimming ascent. Even with a marker dug after each successful landing, my attempt counter ended just shy of 500. However, although enabling a useless upstart to feel a sense of stunted achievement, the ending experience highlighted just how short the game is. As evidenced by the aforementioned developer run, in flawless performance the game spans just a minute and a half.

Of course, its price point of 80 MS Points is somewhat justified regardless of the absence of heaped content, but its monochrome, straight road focus remains a source of annoyance rather than a refreshing challenge. Outside of a player’s competitive desire to ‘œbeat’ the track, the game is without game, existing only to tout the developer’s singular creative goal; to present the challenge of skill set perfection which for many remains largely unachievable. This is bullet hell without the pretty colours, Canabalt without the global scores or procedural generation, or Syobon-Action without the humour or niche appeal.

A few other points worth mentioning:

There are two musical accompaniments to failure. Both are annoying.
You are able to earn three unlockable medals. I was surprisingly adept at securing both “100 Deaths” and “1000 Jumps”.
Wayward flags can lock player into desperately annoying death loops, though the bumpers helpfully navigate between checkpoints.
I didn’t complete it.

Tough and unyielding, cold and frankly unrewarding, The Impossible Game occupies an awkward, almost curio-niche on Xbox Live Indie Games. More a test of patience and memory than skill per se, FlukeDude’s gaming challenge delivers little more than pass the pad frustration and knotted shoulders as friends guffaw at each other’s appalling co-ordination.

You should play this game if’¦

…you enjoyed besting friends at the obnoxious, table-top Screwball Scramble and its painful, plastic derivatives.

Final Score

minus 5