Negative Gamer Review: Bayonetta (Xbox 360)

Taking place in a reality in which heaven battles hell and witches trade vinyl records of angelic hymns with blaxploitation bartenders, Bayonetta is as distinctly Japanese as any game I’ve played in years. The plot, as far as I could discern, charts the titular protagonist’s attempts to recover her memories and prevent the reunification of three separate planes of existence. Mechanically, Bayonetta sits comfortably inside the “character action” genre based around third person melee combat and some occasional platforming spiced up with a few minigames and vehicle sections.

As far as a unique selling point is concerned, Bayonetta rewards the last second dodging of attacks by switching into ‘witch time’. You may already have guessed that ‘witch’ could be substituted with ‘bullet’ and this mechanic would remain the same. Time is slowed down for the player, allowing them to freely inflict damage on enemies without any risk or complete specific platforming sequences that are impossible otherwise. Carrying on the tradition of other games in the genre, there’s a certain degree of character customisation and item management. Between levels or at designated points in each stage, the player can trade in the halos they’ve received after killing enemies for various items or weapons.

You’ve been a bad boy, haven’t you?

I’ll admit that I went into Bayonetta feeling more than a little anxious about its difficulty level. I enjoy a good hack ‘n’ slash from time to time but I’ve always felt intimidated by the arbitrary challenge offered by games such as Devil May Cry and Ninja Gaiden. My first few hours with Bayonetta turned out to be a pleasant surprise, the game was undoubtedly challenging but didn’t seem as punitive as other entries in the genre. During those early chapters I started to become comfortable with the dodging mechanic and thoroughly enjoyed the combat.

Unfortunately, as the game progresses the difficulty curve reaches some truly ridiculous peaks. Around four fifths of the way through the game it simply ceased to be an enjoyable experience. A combination of curiousity and frustration caused me to knock the difficulty level down to “Easy (Automatic)” and I plowed through the remaining levels. This was the point where I realised something quite profound about Bayonetta: this game hates me.

The punitive difficulty level of later levels was just the first hint of the contempt with which Bayonetta treats its players. As if to rub salt in the wound, the only alternative to the standard difficulty level is a mode in which combat is almost completely automated. I didn’t want to sit back and just mash buttons, I just didn’t want to die after one or two mis-timed dodges. There may well be some people who enjoy throwing themselves at frustrating sections of gameplay but I’m not one of them. Maybe that disqualifies me from the hardcore gamer pissing contest but if that means more time to play games that I actually enjoy then so be it.

Who’s she and why is she killing that baby faced angel thing?

I don’t normally like to criticise the stories told in videogames. Most of the time when I pick up a game, I do so because I want to experience the mechanics more than anything else. In Bayonetta’s case I’m willing to make an exception because it seems to be quite proud of its plot and characters. Everything about the lavish and sometimes lengthy cutscenes screams “hey, check out this awesome story we wrote!”.

Unfortunately, the attempt to draw attention to its plot falls flat on its face because there really isn’t much of a plot there. During the period where I could bear to watch the cutscenes, I never developed any attachment to Bayonetta’s cast or any real understanding of what was going on. This is Japanese videogame storytelling at its most ponderous and incomprehensible. Eventually I just gave up and ceased to care about the context in which anything was happening.

Hey dude, check this out, this chick is like totally hot and she’s got guns on her shoes yo

When I first started playing Bayonetta I was willing to go along with the over-the-top presentation. The crotch and ass shots coupled with the general idea that Bayonetta is some kind of action heroine/stripper/dominatrix hybrid elicited a couple of smiles. Unfortunately the game’s sophomoric sense of humour starts to grate pretty quickly. I soon became bored with the one-note humour and attempts at titillation.

Bayonetta feels like a character designed by committee to appeal to a specific demographic of horny, adolescent men. Whilst that could be said of many videogame protagonists, the ceaseless sexual references make it particularly apparent in this case. I ended up feeling that Bayonetta was more condescending than sexist, expecting the player to laugh and cheer along with this lifeless, shallow character.

A few other things worth mentioning….

• The game punishes you for using healing items by lowering your score. It also punishes you for dying by lowering your score. Either way, I ended up with some damn low scores on certain levels.
• Some people will enjoy improving their scores on repeated playthroughs. For me, the last quarter of the game was such a broadly negative experience that I was put off from repeating it.
• Whilst perfectly functional most of the time, there are definitely points in the game where the limitations of the camera weren’t understood by the level designers.
• I felt the need to be excessively cautious due to the extremely powerful attacks of some enemies. This led to me taking a standoff approach and using guns rather than going into melee combat. I found this disappointing, as if the game was holding me back from its most interesting qualities.
• Later on in the game, Bayonetta’s version of escort missions are introduced. I hate escort missions.

For all my complaints about the tone and difficulty of Bayonetta, I still managed to wring quite a few hours of fun from it. Initially the spectacular visuals and challenging but fair combat really impressed me. It’s a shame that Bayonetta ended up disappointing me as it luxuriated in its juvenile use of sexuality and its punitive late game difficulty.

You should buy this game if…

…you find difficult games rewarding and get off on polygonal t ‘n’ a.

Final Score

What starts out as a fun, fanciful romp develops a belligerent attitude towards the player and ultimately outstays its welcome.

(What does this score mean?)

Images: Giantbomb