Disregarded Demographics: Grotto Workers

Yuletide has ambled its way upon us out of nowhere yet again, causing widespread panic as some people realise they’ve not quite actually started their present shopping yet.  In theory it’s the time of goodwill for all, but for the first time ever I’m not feeling particularly Christmassy for some reason or another.  To try and get myself in the mood I turn to Disregarded Demographics…

Christmas games.  Not that common.  Santa Claus is hardly a forgotten figure, though, so that’s him out.  Elves are interesting, but they’ve been tainted forever by Flash/DS spectacular Elf Bowling, so I’m leaving them well alone.  Reindeer…not really a demographic, more a species.  I’m thinking too big, too mystical.  Who are the main people that get into the proceedings of the season? Kids.  What do they like to do? Visit Father Christmas.  Santa’s Grotto workers it is.

I envision a simulation game for this one.  There’s only so much you could do as an actual worker – sit kid on lap, try not to look bored, avoid having beard yanked off – so it would be best to take the role of a grotto organiser of sorts.  The aim is, of course, to rake in as much money as possible by exploiting parents who want to keep their little dears enthralled with the ideals of love and magic for as long as possible.

Firstly, select the shopping centre, park, street corner, whatever, for your Santa hut to go.  The prime bits of real estate go to the highest bidder, which from the outset I’m afraid won’t be you.  You’ll be stuck with the dregs until you can up your company’s reputation.  With disadvantages like location providing an uphill struggle, it’s crucial that you excel in other areas.  Problem is, at this point your budget will also be lacking, so you’ve got to make concessions across the board as you limp to the top.

How much you charge per visit is a key factor.  In poorer areas an inexpensive price point will help to secure a steady small stream of custom, or if you risk a higher fee you will have to deal with a much more haphazard income.  On the other hand, once you get to more upmarket locales you’ll be able to creep your prices up; a low one might now work against you as people might see it as a cheap waste of time.  However you choose to play it, you’d better hope that there’s more money than is necessary to cover the shack’s rent alone, as if not there’s no chance of making improvements.

There are three main aspects that can be altered by way of throwing money at them.  The way your grotto looks is greatly important in attracting people to your business.  Bigger, flashier, brighter is always a good way to go, but to start out you might be finding half broken strings of lights in bins rather than setting off 1,000 bulb displays.  You can mess around with the cost price of the gifts given to customers when they visit.  At the lower end of the scale they might come out with a couple of Quality Streets and a broken skateboard; the higher end, a shiny new game.  If you go for the low cost approach you’ll save funds but may lose business in the long run as word spreads about your Scrooge-like qualities, whereas the more expensive ways edge you ever closer to bankruptcy but warm the hearts of everybody around you and causes your reputation to dart up and send you on to bigger and better things.  Play your cards right and you could have grottos up and down the country and single-handedly spread the festive spirit to the nation’s youth.

It’s your Santa who is your greatest asset, provided you can find the right one.  A good, happy worker will be able to distract even the most cold-hearted doubter from the stench surrounding your humble holiday hovel and entice some coins your way.  Equally, if you get unlucky/stingy you might end up employing an alcoholic who hates children and tends to send them hurtling to the floor, you’re not going to get very far.  Choose carefully.

Theme Park used to have a great feature that allowed you to experience your park’s rides first hand.  I think a similar thing could work well here so that you can survey your grotto through the rose-tinted eyes of a child.  Though, it’d probably be much more fun if this mode was made interactive.  What could be more Christmassy than wandering around the grotto causing trouble – messing about with presents, knocking things over, pulling at things – to try to make Santa lose it and attack you, thus destroying the innocence of Christmas for any other kids about forever?

Images: BrocanteHome, ClubWah, 2zCompany