I’m not even sure I can put words together with this one, but alas, for you I will continue. Kotaku, or more commonly known as The ‘˜Tak has hired a porn star to write about picking up girls at a LAN party.

The article features Raven Alexis who is a professional pornographer. Her site, which I’m not linking to, features pictures or her performing sexually explicit acts and pictures of her fully naked. And she is writing on The ‘˜Tak. Seriously.

The article gives you several ways to talk to girls, because you’re a stereotype gamer who can’t put a few words together in front of a girl without ejaculating in your trousers. It features such gems of advice as:

Offer her some of your energy drinks or pizza. There is nothing more romantic than offering a girl a nice, refreshing taste of your Bawls…or Red Bull.

Or:

Plant a fake virus on your friend’s computer, and then come to the “rescue” very loudly and triumphantly as she looks on.

I’m not sure what’s worse, that advice or the fact that this is on The ‘Tak. A new low? I think so. The post features Alexis looking suggestively at the camera in photos that wouldn’t be out of place in a softcore porn magazine, including one where she is “fixing” a computer on her hands and knees.

This isn’t the first time Alexis has been on The ‘˜Tak though: check out here (120k views) and here (256k views). Or don’t, you’ll be better off. Alexis seems to be linked to FleshBot, another Gawker Media site that is basically just hardcore porn. Nothing like a bit synergy, right?

I could sit here and write up some long form piece about how this is yet another example of videogame journalism being chewed up and spat out but to be honest, it speaks for itself. At the time of writing it has over 42,000 views, which is the highest so far today, suggesting this tactic obviously works.

Just to make the article even more repugnant, it finishes with:

Well, I can’t actually guarantee anything, but hey, if it doesn’t work, you still have me and online porn at RavenAlexis.com and DigitalPlayground.com to keep you company!

So it’s all just an advert for porn. Stay classy.