Dear Game, It’s Over: The Legend of Zelda Series
Dear The Whole Legend of Zelda Series,
So, I see you’ve got a new game on DS, Spirit Tracks, or something. I suppose you think I’m going to be picking that up like the other Zelda games, right? Well, I’ve got news for you: It’s over.
At first my time with you felt so very comforting. No matter what else happened, no matter how much everyone around me changed, you were a constant in my life. You were like the quarterly gas bill or TV programmes that always come on at Christmas, you’re that Coca-Cola advert. What you are, Zelda Series, is safe and reliable. Safe and reliable is fine for somebody who doesn’t wish for any excitement in their life but it’s absolutely no good for me. What’s more I’ve lately started to suspect you actually think I’m stupid. To explain what I mean … well, it’s actually frustratingly simple.
Every time we go on a trip I already know what to expect in advance. I know at some point you’ll take me to find the Master Sword. I know many, though not all of the enemies you’ll put me up against. I know that, practically without fail, we’ll explore some sort of fire, water and forest temples to name but a few and that in each one you’ll find me a new toy to play with.
I say “new” but of course it’ll probably be one of the same toys that you bring me every single time, won’t it? That toy will then likely be instrumental in defeating a boss at the end of that dungeon who I meet after finding the Boss Key. Chances are I’ll have to use it five times to defeat it – yes, I know you that well. At least one of these will be some sort of giant spider thing, probably early on in the game. Eventually I will embark on a quest to find the Triforce and — Okay, okay I’ll stop. — You get the picture.
So far, so formulaic. It’s almost insulting, then, that after giving me exactly the same old thing that you’ve given me over and over again, you think you can throw me off the scent by introducing some measly gimmick. This has been particularly noticeable lately: It might be a werewolf transformation or a sailing boat, perhaps. Most recently, you’ve offered to take me round on a train, as if this is somehow supposed to distract me from the fact that all the destinations (the real meaty parts of the trip) are familiar by all accounts I’ve heard. I’m not saying that you put no effort into these gimmicks – sometimes they can be quite well done and interesting but do you really think me so gullible as to believe that if I give in and try Spirit Tracks you’ll be taking me on a whole new adventure to our last one?
Now I know what you’re thinking: Other folks I’ve been with are like this, right? Your friend Metroid could be criticised in exactly the same way, possibly. You may have a point Zelda Series – you are not the only one in the world that is guilty in this sort of area but it seems so much worse when you do it. As an Action RPG style game, you have a particular responsibility to tell story that holds my interest and it becomes so tiresome when most of the plot points are lifted directly from stories you’ve told me before.
While there is something romantic about this story you tell me of a legendary hero repeating itself through time, surely it wouldn’t hurt you to mix things up a little. Give me a major villain that doesn’t have “Ganon” in his name, maybe? That’d be a start but, of course, it’s only the tip of the iceberg. The same-old-story feeds into the same-old-gameplay and vice-versa and round and round it goes like some kind of perpetual bullshit machine. Our whole relationship has been built upon this self-supporting mechanism and while it made things easier for you, it’s made it impossible for me – at least for now.
What I’m trying to say, Zelda Series, is that while I’m done with you at the moment, there’s still hope. In order to show me just how imaginative you can be, though, you have to give up some of those crutches that you so readily use – they’re getting old and rusty and they’re in rapid danger of buckling beneath you. After so much disappointment, I’m afraid I will accept nothing less than major upheaval in your whole lifestyle. I can’t tell you what it will be because it has to come from you but here are few things you might like to consider:
1: Show me a completely different way to explore dungeons – one that doesn’t involve hunting around for keys, maps, a compass and finally a boss key. If you lead me off the beaten path, we’re more likely to find a quiet spot to have some fun – y’know what I’m saying?
2: Turn the Triforce into something more meaningful than an excuse to send me off on another round of dungeons or fetch quests. I’m supposed to be your lover, not your errand boy.
3: Find a way to make fighting more exciting. You make me do a lot of it but it hasn’t come very far at all since Ocarina of Time and feels all the more dated for it. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve no objections if you like it rough but teach me some new moves so we can keep it interesting, eh?
You know what, though? Ignore all that and for the sake of all that is right in the universe, surprise me. Properly, genuinely and consistently surprise me. If we are to get to the crux of why I’m leaving you, Zelda Series, it’s really as simple as that: You never, ever surprise me any more. If you could just do that once in a while, then your own sweet, personal charm would carry you the rest of the way back into my arms – and a very happy day that would be.
Hopefully yours,
Peter “SurplusGamer”
A couple of people have said this to me, so:
Yes I know, I forgot so people refrain from pointing it out: there are one or two entries in the series that don’t feature Ganon(dorf) as a major villian, although it is a rarity.
Obviously this mild factual exaggeration of mine invalidates my entire argument (which of course was written in the spirit of complete seriousness because I actually do date video games) and The Legend of Zelda isn’t formulaic at all, so we need to get back together at once.
Any chance we could add that sarcasm flag to the comments, as well?
It’s kind of sad that Zelda II and Majora’s Mask were the two that strayed from the formula, but are regarded by many as the black sheep of the series.
It’s a shame that both Nintendo and their fans, but mostly their fans, have made this situation. Heck… last night on Bonus Round one of the panelists actually called the Wii a failure over the last year because there was no new Mario/Zelda/Metroid (aside from a 2D Mario, which they pretty much said doesn’t count)… Nintendo used to have the best followers, but they’ve become the company’s worst enemy. :(
For a company that the media hails as innovators, they really play it safe with their top IPs. I’d criticize them more, but I personally own most of the games in the Zelda series and thus have only been encouraging them. I’d see it as a bigger problem, if I didn’t still really enjoy these games.
Though it does remain to be seen if they can keep getting away with it. I do remember hearing some editorial chatter when Twilight Princess was released that nothing really seems to be new, that you’re still the same guy, with the same set of moves, and the same set of equipment that really can’t be argued. I guess I probably excuse it personally because they tend to space their console releases out by a couple years, unlike Satan Kotick’s Activision.
If anything, I’m troubled by the existence of Mario Galaxy 2, where it doesn’t seem like even the art assets have changed in any significant way.
Call me shallow but I kind of enjoy a different rehash of the same arcing story. It is told differently enough each time that I still find them enjoyable and “epic”. Hell, when the new Zelda comes out, I’ll be buying a Wii for just that reason.
Besides, any main deviation always comes with some form of whining as mentioned above. Sad that Wind Waker took the rap it did for being too childish when I think it’s a slightly better game than Twilight Princess because, well, I’M ON A BOAT
I like Zelda because it is always the same. Which isn’t really true, because Zelda changes a lot from game to game.
I don’t understand how people keep saying, that Zelda always has the same story. Zelda, A Link to the past, Ocarina of Time, Twilight Princess and maybe Minish Cap could be considered to have roughly the same story. That’s not even half of the Zelda game and even those have different focus and different characters in them. If you make your view that abstract almost every game has the same story and even Mario is the same story as Zelda.
Also I don’t understand why sequels have to surprise people but new franchises can be the same old shit and nobody would complain.
just stick to playing modern warfare 2 because it’s totally different from modern warfare 1.
god of war 1/2?
madden?
tony hawk?
uncharted 1/2?
halo 1/2/3
dude, all sequels are just more of the same. at least nintendo tries “gimmicks” to mix things up a bit. every other company just releases what is basically a better (sometimes worse) version of the last game with few or any changes to gameplay.
Rafael:
1) I think sports games are totally guilty of being formulaic, but they have more of an excuse, surely, from having to specifically simulate a particular sport. But still, they do things, like the recently popular feature of being a single player in a sort of almost RPGish way across a full season. But sure, they’re sort of limited in what they can do.
2) I have never once argued that sequels shouldn’t contain ANY of the same elements of previous games. More of the same, in moderation is good. It provides the familiarity and continuity you should expect from sequels. My only gripe with Zelda is that it sticks to its formula SO rigidly in terms of gameplay and somewhat in terms of plot, too, that it never surprises me. I feel like I’m playing remixes, not sequels.
3) Of course, some other games will be guilty of the same thing. Quite a lot of games, probably. But not all of them, and I’m not talking about those games, I’m talking about Zelda.
So there.
Peter, you hit home with that piece for me. I always loved Zelda, and played every part. But i didnt finish twilight princess because of repetition fatigue.
I only have to say one thing IF YOU DON’T LIKE ZELDA THEN DON’T PLAY IT DON’T COMPLAIN ABOUT IT
@Some Kid: you are on the wrong site, obviously