If you’re one of the millions of gamers who are currently working their way through the historical simulation Assassin’s Creed II, Ubisoft’s about to drop some knowledge on you next January in the form of two new DLC offerings: “Battle of Forli” and “Bonfire of the Vanities”.

Intrepid adventurers already know of the retail game’s mysterious end-game missing sequences. These DLC packs will weigh in at approximately 1GB each and complete the game’s virtual DNA Sequence of murder and corruption. The first pack will feature the lovely (or hideous, see Uncanny Valley) Caterina Sforza; a character who is teased mid-game, but never heard from again. The second pack also looks to be based on the historical burning of objects of sin that took place in Florence in 1497. Nowadays we have the Internet. Try burning all of that sin!

For those of you keeping track of the series’ themes and timeline, shame on you. Honestly you’d be better off trying to make sense of a season of Lost. There’s been no announcement of price for this pack, but it seems pretty disingenuous for Ubisoft to offer of events that occurred mid-game as paid DLC. Who am I kidding. I’ll be playing this Day One for the likely price of $10 each pack. God I’m pathetic.