Disregarded Demographics: Sewage Workers

It’s Tuesday.  You know what time it is.  For tonight’s show on Disregarded Demographics we have a particularly gruesome treat ‘“ for what, pray tell, is more negative than sifting through others’ excrement for a living? It’s time for a game involving everybody’s favourite men down the drains, the sewage workers.

No, it’s not going to be as good as that bit in Ghostbusters 2 where they all go chasing after purple slime.  It’s not even going to be as good as the bit in the Ghostbusters 2 Commodore 64 games where you dangle down a drain.  There are no ghosts at all, so stop asking about them.  You’re a sewage worker.  There really doesn’t need to be much more explanation as to how crap (literally) this job is.  But, seeing as I’m relatively nice for a negative kind of guy, we’re going to spark up any depressed person in this job with a shiny game all about them.

As a member of the titular elite S.E.W.E.R. (Sludge Evacuation Waste Elimination Rangers), your job is to patrol the drains beneath our fine cities removing any unsavoury deposits that might be blocking up the systems, combating any creatures you face along the way.  The way I see this is, it’s a bit like Dead Space, only without space, and you’re wishing you were dead instead of killing loads of things.  You get your own helmet, you have a radio that alerts you where the latest blockages are, but instead of a cool laser rifle thing you get a plunger, some bin bags and an air compressor spray gun.

Your priority is to keep the tunnels clean before all else, and you’re guided along your path by your helpful manager who forcefully refuses to get his hands dirty, delegating everything to you instead and yet somehow getting paid ridiculous amounts more.  There are a few degrees of cleaning calamity: your basic spray down of a wall will involve little more than a short blast of air, but more severe build-ups call for a tougher, more hands-on approach.  Entire openings will be clogged with slime, and this will require careful plunger probing to avoid the mass failing upon you.  Sedimentation puzzles play a large role in proceedings; you’ll regularly have to settle out some ‘˜solids’ on the top of giant tanks of water to retrieve keys and new tools to allow progression.

While none of this sounds too pleasant, it gets worse.  Giant sewer rats will bumble, clatter and fall out of grates and attack until warded off with air shots.  Good luck with the crocodiles, given the non-lethal nature of your tools.  You also have to remember that the air down there is pretty toxic ‘“ in reality, you’re really supposed to be avoiding too much contact with sludge, and regular fresh air is recommended to avoid sewage poisoning.  There are no such luxuries here, so you’re going to be desperately finding airways leading to the surface to top up your lungs with semi-fresh air and trying to clean yourself off with water that you’ve managed to sanitise.

There you have it, then.  S.E.W.E.R. is going to take survival horror in a more abominable direction than any before it, because the heart of it all is based in reality ‘“ with a little creative licence attached, of course.  When playing you might also want to avoid standing in one place for too long, too, particularly under large pipes, as let’s just say there are regular’¦additions delivered into your environment.  And it won’t be a happy sort of chocolate rain.

Images: ShitWebDesign, BullBunky, PestControl-Online