Negative Gamer: Boobs Week!

Hello minions. As many of you are surely aware, I am the acting Editor in Chief while our dear Wardrox is away at the Penny Arcade Expo. I’m here to tell you a little bit about myself, and what I plan to do with Negative Gamer in his absence. First things first, I want to let you know that you can expect a higher quality of article, as I have asked every writer to somehow incorporate boobs into his or her submissions. Why would I do that? Quite simply, boobs are awesome.

In reality, you can expect the same type of angsty, bitter articles this week, and I’ve even got a special idea for Johns usual sunday vlog. I’ve been keeping in constant communication with John, and he’s still very much keeping an eye on Negative Gamer, and shooting down all my brilliant ideas. He even turned down my idea to change the logo to a Fox News logo! Think of all the positive publicity being associated with Fox News would bring us!

However, while I am acting EiC, I do have a whole plethora of new responsibilities! I have to edit articles, make coffee, look angry, grow a mustache, and smoke a cigar! It’s going to be an experience, for sure. It’s also worth mentioning that I’m promoting Phil to my assistant, and I’m hereby firing GandySampras. At least until Wardrox reads this and makes me re-hire him.

So for the next week or so, you won’t see much of Wardrox around, but you’ll see more of my lovely face, and personality on the site. John does a fantastic job of running this site, and I realize I can’t live up to his level of excellence, but I promise all of you, that I have been, and I will continue to do my best. In the meantime, my assistant Phil has provided me with a top ten list, that I believe you will enjoy. It is with great honor, I present to you, Phil Dohery’s Top Ten Games That Could Use More Tits:

1. Super Mario Galaxy: Luigi is totally a candidate for pre-op transsexual intervention
2. Ratchet and Clank Series: Clank + metal tits = win
3. Fuel: It would have made it somewhat interesting to drive around that 5,000 sq mile area with a decent rack to admire.
4. Metroid: Team Ninja is making the next game. Team Ninja also made Dead Or Alive Xtreme Beach Volleyball. You do the math.
5. Star Wars:The Force Unleashed: “The force is strong in those sweater puppies, Master.”
6. Call of Duty; World At War: Nazi Zombie Babes Mode
7. Bit.Trip Beat: Instead of waggling a Wii-mote to catch colored dots, you catch pixel-breasts.
8. Pokemon: I know it’s sick but you were all thinking it too!
9. Resident Evil 5: That game blew pretty bad as it was, getting to see Sheva’s hooters might have saved it
10. Viva Pinata: That game has selective breeding, cock-fighting, racism, and a sex trade, why not full frontal as well? Not to mention Boobies filled with candy is like a dream come true.

So there you have it, our first official Boob related article during what is like Christmas to me, the Negative Gamer Boobs Week. I hope you enjoy this half as much as I do.