Asteroids Movie Has Plot Including “Big Thing in Space”

Yes, they’ve already figured out a plot for the Asteroids movie; a respectable feat considering the game doesn’t have one. Producer, Lorenzo di Bonaventura, recently spoke with IGN about the adaptation.

Despite the likelihood that this won’t be a good movie, his attempts at making it sound like it will be are nevertheless entertaining:

It’s funny because people say there’s nothing in the game, but that’s not entirely right. I was attracted to Asteroids, plain and simple, because I think what it tells you is that there’s going to be this big thing in space.

We’ve crafted a really strong, deep mythology for the thing. Without divulging too much about it, it’s two lead characters – two brothers – who have to go through a seminal experience to figure out their relationship, against this huge backdrop.

As for things that were actually in the game:

Well you’d better have some guys in spaceships blowing stuff up or else you haven’t honoured the fun of Asteroids.

This is what we have so far then: A movie about two brothers who must sort out their relationship whilst blowing stuff up in spaceships. Oh yeah, and there’s going to be this big thing in space. It’s an Asteroid. If the title is to be believed, perhaps multiple Asteroids will be present.

This thrilling experience is brought to you by the producer of Doom, Transformers and G.I Joe: The Rise of Cobra. With film-making talent like that and such a refreshing plot, how can you go wrong?  Let’s just hope that it never gets made so we don’t have to find out. If they can’t get Halo or BioShock done then they surely can’t get the money together for this rubbish.