PC Editions of Console Games and Why You Should be Annoyed About Them

PC ports of console games. Such things divide gamers, usually into about three groups. The first group are enthusiastic about the chance to experience these games at a much higher resolution, better graphics, and with much-needed keyboard and mouse support. The second group consider themselves “pure” and clean of this console gaming nonsense- they consider themselves the PC gaming elite. Everyone else considers them arrogant twats. The third group, of course, is the console gamer; they don’t really care, since they already have the game available to them and the PC version is just a side-note.

Obviously there are some who fall outside of these groups, and it’s usually these people who get the most frustrated by PC ports. I’d argue that I was one of these, since I love PC gaming, but hate most of the shit that comes with a lot of games. These days, it seems more and more common that the PC version is a token afterthought, with the console version(s) getting all of the attention. Although PC versions end up being cheaper, this still pisses me off for a number of reasons.

Firstly, the lack of support. A good example of this is the PC version of Burnout Paradise. A great game, which I play often- it was drafted on to the PC surprisingly well. However, the post-launch treatment is reminiscent of that of a Nintendo fan: every now and then  the company tosses it a bone, just to shut it up for a few months. You may recall that Burnout Paradise has had a lot of great DLC, stuff that is actually worth having. However, the PC version of the game was given the gift of this DLC at least a month later than its console cousins. Similarly, the recently released Big Surf Island DLC has yet to appear on the PC store. I wouldn’t mind as much (it’s only DLC, after all) if Criterion even made mention of it on their blog- but it seems like they’ve forgotten the PC version even exists. Not even a passing reference or a “coming soon”. I like you, Criterion, but please at least acknowledge that I exist.

Another irritating feature of PC versions of games are the awful controls. I recognise that a controller is much better for some types of game, but some companies seem to be unable to make default control setups that are viable ways of playing the game. Don’t, for example, set the “aim” button to the “I” key. That’s just ridiculous. I have big hands, but I can’t move with WASD and hit “I” at the same time without using my thumb- and that should never leave the spacebar. Also, game developers, Space is always jump. I don’t care if you want Space to be “use”, it’s jump. Of course, on the PC controls are often completely customisable. This would render this argument almost null (although having to change presets is annoying) were it not for the fucking ludicrous tendency for games to disallow you from assigning buttons to the mouse. “Sure,” the menu says, “set the controls however you like- but no, you may not set ‘secondary fire’ to one of the mouse buttons.” Evidently, mouse 2 is reserved for ‘flashlight’ or ‘draw weapon’.

A baffling facet of PC versions of games is that a lot of them run like they were designed by J.R.R. Tolkien. Sure, they might be epic in scope, but that old man wouldn’t have a clue how to create a PC version of Lost Planet. I mention that game in particular because, in all honesty, it was one of the worst running games I’ve ever played. I’m going to do the clichéd thing and note here that my PC can run Crysis and Far Cry 2 on high settings, but I feel it’s necessary to get a benchmark. Lost Planet, despite having seemingly reasonable requirements, ran at about 20 frames per second at best, even after turning the setting to lowest. Perhaps I’m giving the programmers a hard time, but I really don’t expect that sort of shit on my PC. Maybe I’d feel differently about it if I was trying to run it on a Netbook or something, but I wasn’t. It’s not just Lost Planet, either- GTA IV and Beyond Good and Evil took me an unreasonable amount of time to get running at an acceptable level.

Needless to say, a bad game is a bad game. However, I feel that developers need to put a lot more effort into their PC divisions. A better PC version means more customers, ultimately; a good PC game can secure a lot of sales. Incidentally, the PC version of Prototype is rather good. It ran perfectly well with no tweaks, and I only had to change one button in the default controls. That’s another story, though. The point of this article is simply to point out that it’s not just console ports that suffer from problems. Think of us poor PC gamers, too.