Mom: “Nintendo Hurt My Child” and Media Scapegoating

Nicolo plays his Nintendo all the time. He likes discovering secrets and battling people. He gets sweaty fingers, though. Sometimes.

On a completely unrelated note, Michael Clingerman’s mother is going to be returning his Nintendo to the store! Why? He had a panic attack. And he screamed. He was obviously in pain. It’s those demonic vidya gaemz climbing into his brain and burrowing inside lke parasites. Isabelle Clingerman is taking her son’s Nintendo back to the store.

“I can’t recommend this game to any parent. It’s not a substitute for reading a book or doing an outdoor activity with your child.”

Did that make much sense?

I’m sure you’re all asking:

• Why was the kid playing an NES?
• What does the random child who gets sweaty fingers have to do with anything?
• What retailer would take back an NES because some woman claims it’s hurting her child?
• Who actually believes that an NES is a substitute for reading a book or doing an outdoor activity with your child?
• What game was he playing?

Obviously, no NESs were involved. Here’s the simplified version of what happened:

The child was enjoying some gaming time. He began having an adverse reaction, such as a seizure or a panic attack similar to those caused by the Pokémon scare so many years ago. This is not an uncommon story. Some children are more sensitive to flashing lights or simple game mechanics, but may never show symptoms until enjoying games. Simple, right? We’ve seen it before, right?

That’s mainstream media for you, turning any gaming-related story that reports on phenomena we’re all already familiar with into BREAKING NEWS to shock as many overzealous parents as possible. Plus, they conveniently overlook details that might be prominent to the story, such as the fact that the child wasn’t playing a “Nintendo,” but was in reality gaming on a DS. However, we’re not even sure if it was a DS that this child had an adverse reaction to. The accompanying video to the article features DS demonstrations, but that’s because the first child it mentions just happens to be enjoying Castlevania.

 It’s also not mentioned what game the “injured” child was playing when this incident occurred. It’s almost as if the news channel is wallowing in its own ignorance and expects any households that contain the word “Nintendo” anywhere inside to immediately return products for fear of endangering their children. Wait a minute. It’s exactly like that. There is no real information given in this news report save for some mediocre “tips” on how to prevent injury or sickness while allowing children gaming time.

It’s a terrifying thought that this is the mindset that a good portion of the mass media possesses. Their unwillingness to shed any light on a subject they know little or nothing about is a slap in the face to those of us who choose to educate ourselves on things we don’t understand.

It’s a vicious cycle that will never end. Parents will watch these half-ass news reports, scour their homes for incriminating gaming systems, and forever live in fear that their little Johnny will seize at any moment the next time that he gets out his “Nintendo.” Boy, must be nice to have a company at your beck and call like that, so you can just play them whenever you want.

BRB, playing some Microsoft.

Ugh, this world.